W̶H̶Y̶ N̶O̶T̶ M̶E̶?

15

Hearing those word 

Hearing her name instead of mine

It hurts too much 

I look at the other side of the bed and there he was.

kisaki is sleeping like nothing happened

I think he drank to much 

he didn't even recognize me he is Hallucinating 

I forced myself to get off the bed 

even tho I am all sore I tried my best to get up 

I kept stumbling and I held on to the wall to balance myself

God It hurts 

I looked up at the wall it is already 3am 

I entered my room and lay in my bed 

I want to cry but there is no more tears coming out of my eyes

after an hour of looking at the ceiling I still can't fall asleep

"should I just kill myself?"

"I am really tired of this life"

"I want to make my family proud of my do if I die right now all the hardship I did will be all useless"

"I still have a year left I can make it through this all I have to do id bare this pain and wait for a year to end and all this suffering will be gone"

I closed my eyes and tried my best to to sleep 

I open my eyes again and look at the time

It feels only like a minutes since I closed my eyes but now it is currently 6am