Looking at you side ways

53

Two weeks later Derek walked into the kitchen and Mark glared at him. "What's your problem?"

Derek poured himself some coffee and Mark grumbled, "I'm tired. I'm so fucking tired!"

Laughing Derek said, "Oh. Sorry man."

Mark said, "You are not sorry in the least! What are you doing to her at night? It sounds like a horror movie with all the screaming going on. And those wax ear plugs you told me to get? Not making a dent. I think I might actually have hearing loss." Mark rubbed one ear.

Trying to change the subject Derek asked, "What about your date last night? Weren't you otherwise occupied?" Mark had brought home a salesgirl from Macy's he had met in the shirt department.

Mark groaned and said, "Are you serious? After hearing you two, she had unrealistic expectations. After I finally convinced her to give me a second chance, I came down here because I was out of condoms. And what should I discover? The cookie jar was bare!"

Derek said sincerely, "Oh shit Mark. I am sorry. We replenished it, but we ran out again and borrowed some more."

Mark put his head in his hands and said, "She left after that. How humiliating."

Derek bit the inside of his mouth to keep from laughing. He thought,[i] there but the grace of God go I. Derek remembered the horror of having no condoms.[/i] "I'll make it up to you. I'll buy you condoms and make your favorite, chili."

Mark whined, "The kind that takes all day to cook?"

"Yeah. On my next off day. But don't make me buy the glow in the dark ones."

Mark stood up and adjusted his balls and said indigently, "I like the glow in the dark ones."

Derek grumbled, "Okay. Just this once. It's embarrassing."

"Fuck! At the rate you two are going... Just go to Sam's Club or Costco and buy a fucking skid full. Or maybe you can sign up for automatic home delivery. You know, like monthly prescriptions."

Derek warned, "Mark!"

"I can't believe you won't spill details. I mean you usually don't, but you had quite a few drinks the other night and you can be quite the rambler after a few and you still gave me NOTHING!"

Derek sighed and ran his hands through his hair and said quietly, "I think I'm addicted to her."

Mark whistled and said, "So she's that great in bed?"

"I mean, I think....I think...I......."

Meredith walked into the kitchen and Mark and Derek stopped talking.

She looked between the two and assumed they were talking about her. Mark walked out of the kitchen and patted her on the shoulder and said, "Champ!"

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As the three of them walked into the hospital Mark said, "Seriously. You two have to do something. Go to Home Depot or wherever and get some padding between your bed and the wall. I mean I am paying rent. I am entitled to a decent nights sleep."

Meredith blushed bright red and stopped in her tracks and looked horrified.

"You hear us?"

Derek shook his head at Mark.

Mark sighed and said, "Um.....I could have been in the hall getting into the bathroom?"

Meredith frowned and said, "Oh." She ran after Cristina who was walking in front of them.