All I Have (Armin X Reader)

Kinda Angsty

You were still sitting at the head of the boat when Annie came and stood behind you, sensing her presence you turned to look at her

You: Annie, your here

You turned back around and stared out at the sea

Annie: Y/n...your still looking at me with those eyes

You:...what?

You heard her hesitantly walk forward

Annie: I...I'm-

You: please don't say your sorry. Those things no longer matter

Annie: how could I not after I-

You: I'm tired Annie... I'm tired of being tired. I'm tired of watching everyone around me die because people haven't moved on from a greedy man's reign. I just...want to die

Annie: Y/n no don't-

You: it'll happen anyway. Every wielder of the Immortal Titan dies by suicide...you know what's worse?

Annie: What? What can be worse than what your feeling now?

You stood up and stared up at the sky

You: I was born as a scapegoat *smiles* my mother committed many sins in her life and couldn't hold the weight of it anymore, so she used my father to give her a child and not even a day after birth she uses that child to kill her and inherit her power. The horrors that await the child push her to do the same everyday.

You slid your hands in your pockets and turned to look at Annie

You: The child's predecessors show her the death of her loved ones. They show her their pain, their fears, they show her the things that can hurt them and...things that already did

You walked up to Annie as you spoke until you stood in front of her. The memory of you reuniting through Annie's eyes played through your head

"I thought I killed you"

"You did"

You grabbed Annie's hand with both hands and gave her a solemn look

You: Starvation, crushed by a boulder, shot in the head, poisoned, all of these could have been my first death. So...the fact that you killed me. It didn't matter...my first death was inevitable

Annie: I've...decided long ago that I love you so...I hope one day you'll be able to love me again

You looked down at the floor and slowly let go of her hand before looking into her eyes

You:... who says I've stopped loving you?

Armin: Annie? Y/n?

Armin hurriedly walked up to the two of you as you backed away from Annie

Armin: is...everything okay?

He was speaking to both of you, but his eyes never left Annie's face

You:...we were just clearing things up, everything's fine

Armin: I see, that's great

Annie could tell you seemed bothered, but before she could say anything you walked off

Armin: Y/n? Is...everything really alright?

Annie: it is between us, is there something going on between you two?

Armin: between us? No I don't-

He looked at Annie and quickly backed away

Armin: I forgot! I never apologized!

He quickly ran off after you but didn't see you. He did see one of the Azumabito smoking on the deck so he approached him

Azumabito:...ah Y/n, your ba-

He was startled to see that it was Armin instead of you

Azumabito: oh, it's you

Armin: yes, you were looking for Y/n?

Azumabito: yeah, she must still be having that smoke

Armin: smoke?

Azumabito: she looked a bit stressed so I offered her one, I told her to go to a room below deck if she didn't wanna be seen

After running below deck and finding the room you were in, he entered the room and saw you in the corner looking out the open window as you lit a cigarette sitting loosely between your lips. With one hand in your pocket, you were standing there shirtless with only a jacket covering your shoulders. But the first thing he noticed was the large gash on this side of your stomach, along with another large cut on your arm, other bruises were visible on your body, yet you stood as if they weren't there

Armin: Y/n...y-your really smoking?

You: hm? yeah one of the Azumabito offered me one

You closed your lighter and slid it into your pocket before grabbing the cigarette with your fingers, blowing smoke out the window

Armin: but that's really bad for you, it'll make your breath smell bad and your teeth turn yellow, and it really does a number on your lungs

You: so what? My lungs will just heal

Armin: that's not the point Y/n

You frowned took another inhale, blowing smoke out of your nose

You: I don't get why it matters, if my body deteriorates it'll just heal over again

Armin: that doesn't mean you shouldn't take care of yourself...if you keep smoking, I won't kiss you anymore

Your eyes furrowed even more

You:...Armin...I'm going to ask you this once, so that means you have to be honest with me

Armin: Y/n...?

You flicked the ash off the cigarette and put it out on your hand

You: is it you...or is it Berthold?

Armin: what...?

You: the way you look at Annie...is the same way you look at me, so better now to ask than later

You dropped the cigarette and stepped closer to him causing him to stutter and step back

Armin: I...

You: I'm not asking you to give me your eyes, I'm just asking you to be honest with me, is Bertold influencing how you feel about Annie or is it your own feelings?

Armin: I-

You: think carefully before you answer

He nervously looked down at the floor then looked up at you in horror

Armin: I...can't answer that yet, I-I don't know

You:...I see...

You moved him out of the way and opened the door

Armin: wait Y/n!

You slammed the door behind you before he could attempt to stop you

Armin: no...I love Y/n...my feelings have never...never wavered before

He clutched his chest and fell against the door. Meanwhile you were leaning on the other side of the door staring down at the cigarette burn you left on your hand

You:...cigarettes taste horrible

A/n

I made the mistake of reading the manga again

I am in tears