Death Alway Follows Her

Hate | Pain | Jealousy 

NOTE:

This is going to be a longer
chapter because I'm feeling
real grate and I'm on a roll
with writing also there
is a lot going on in this
chapter so be prepared for
a roller coaster of a ride

I also realized I haven't
been diving to deep
into Yelena's mental and emotional
struggles so there will
be a bit more of that in the
next few chapters

WARNING:
There is some self-harm in this chapter

It had been a month after Christmas, and the girls had done a lot. They hung out with their friends and even went on two small dates. Kate had thought of a good way to go about dating. She had called it ABC dating.

They would first would eat something that started with the correlating letter, than moved on to an activity with the same letters. Lastly, they would watch a movie following the same format. They decided to do every letter in order.

Their first date following the new system, Date A, started with them going to Applebee's. They then went and did ax throwing, which both enjoyed thoroughly. They finished the night by watching The A-Team. Yelena enjoyed all the action in the movie.

Date B, They ate at a gas station with a small restaurant called Blisters bbq inside. It was really great food, especially for it being at a gas station. They decided on bowling as their activity and finished the night off by watching Big Trouble In Little China. The Russian did enjoy this movie as much if not more then Date A's movie.

The girls lay in Kate's bed watching the Back to the Future movies. Yelena lost track of what was going on. Her thoughts over took her mind. She slowly untangled herself from Kate, trying not to wake the sleeping girl. She slid off the bed and sat on the beanbag close by.

Ever since Christmas, Yelena couldn't help but think about the moment underneath the mistletoe. She had been beating herself up wishing she could have changed things. She wished she could have been braver. She wished that her past would stop interfering with her life. Maybe if her childhood was different she'd have kissed Kate that night under the mistletoe or maybe even before that.

Yelena felt the hate and anger building up in her. She ripped her eyes from Kate and closed them. She took a deep breath and let it out slowly, trying to calm herself. It helped a little to clear her mind. She reached over and grabbed her backpack.

She looked up to see if Kate was still asleep, thankfully, the girl was. She dug around until she felt the well-known plastic and paper of her medicine bottle. She glanced up once more before pulling it out, only to be filled with dread.

"No, no, no." She whispered. Her meditation helped calm her down in moments like this, but now the empty bottle was only tipping her over the edge. She hadn't needed her medication in a while, so she had forgotten to put more in her bag. She had been doing better, hadn't she?

She slammed the bottle back into the bag, and as quietly as possible, she placed the backpack down.

Once more, Yelena closed her eyes and tried to control her breathing, but nothing could stop the flood of thoughts and emotions from breaking through its damn. With an annoyed huff, Yelena got up angrily and stormed off into the bathroom. She turned the water on and glared at herself in the mirror.

The longer she stared, the more everything was getting on her nerves. The more her clothes seemed to be tightening, making it harder to breathe. The more her breath quickened. The more her thoughts got her riled up.