REESE

chapter thirty eight.

Reese POV:

"You must be out of your goddamn mind."

Fear is inescapable. From the moment we are born to the moment we die, we live immersed in fear.

Healthy babies with uncomplicated births cry the second they are delivered. Their fear that accumulates from the exposure to cold air and a new environment is considered normal, crucial even. A baby's first cry is seeked out to determine whether the infant is healthy and if their lungs are functioning properly or not.

The same general narrative continues on as we grow older. People have innate fears that are hardwired into their brains in order for them to stay safe, to survive. It's normal, healthy, common even, to have fears that dictate your actions.

Fears that tell you: don't stand on the edge of a cliff, don't approach wild animals, don't go into dangerous areas, don't plan an assassination in less than an hour, and don't enter a war zone.

Generally, if you ignore your innate fears that are ingrained in your brain to keep you safe, then things can tend to get a little complicated.

For example, if hypothetically, you enter a war zone willingly, then your instincts should tell you to at least take a team with you, but let's say you don't end up doing so.

If you don't end up taking a team, then you should have the common sense to let your family know. So you do, but turns out they don't end up supporting you. If that happens, then you should understand that it's probably  for a reason and if your biological family didn't approve then your adoptive family probably won't either.

Then let's just say for whatever reason, you decide not to tell your adoptive family about your plans. In that case, you should at least have the decency to know that you have to tell your Don because technically all your actions fall under his name. But once again, for hypothetical reasons, let's say you don't end up telling your Don because he's also your dad and you're scared of his reaction.

Then like I said before, things tend to get a little complicated.

He might find out and get angry anyways, probably more angry than if you just told in the first place.

A lot more angry.

And then you might realize that ignoring fears that normal people possess only puts you in a position to fear something else. Something more scary to you than a war zone.

Your dad.

Hypothetically of course.

My stomach churned with anxiety as I took in my dad's barely restrained anger through my laptop screen. "Dad-" I began quietly, slowly realizing that for the first time in my life I didn't know what to say. All I knew was that the last thing I needed was to repeat the conversation I already had with the Di Genovas, now with my father. I did what needed to be done, that's all there was to it. I didn't want to argue, I didn't want to fight, and I definitely didn't want him glaring at me like he was actively contemplating whether to throttle me through the screen or not.

He cut me off, voice hard, angry. "Did I say you could speak? Shut your mouth Reese."

I cringed at the rage in his tone but complied nonetheless.

"I called you over fifty times last night. You didn't answer one call, not one." I hesitantly met his eyes only to see them burn with anger. "You don't think I know you? You don't think I know how my daughter is, how she thinks? Did you not consider for even half a second that I knew you would want to retaliate, that maybe Pria and I would want to retaliate for Nico too?"