𝐂𝐎𝐅𝐅𝐄𝐄 𝐆𝐈𝐑𝐋, timothée chalamet

chapter twenty-one

dear dad,

he did it. timothée kissed me. i know i was writing to you last week about mike, and i swear i haven't become a whore since you left, but things just played out that way. nothing happened with mike; we both agreed to be friends—that kiss was in the heat of the moment.

timothée brought me to the roof of his apartment because i didn't want to be at a party and we sat on the cold concrete and just looked up at the sky. we also had a little pot (sorry). i told him that i enjoy spending time with him and he smiled at me and then just kissed me. it was perfect, dad.

but i don't know what to do. i don't know how to handle these situations...i've never had a boyfriend! i had my first kiss in the eleventh grade during spin the bottle and have had no action until mike. i hate confrontation and i'm too nervous to talk to him about it.

and he's leaving for italy tonight. so hopefully he goes away, comes back and forgets me, and i find a way to forget about the last two months of my life. the two months that were perfect because, for the first time, i felt truly happy.

ever since you died, dad, i don't think i've felt true and real happiness. mom, spencer and i tried so hard to put on a smile and tell people we were okay, but i don't think we ever truly were.

i don't want to be alone forever dad.

love your favourite (and only) daughter,
bay

ps: spencer got into ucla!!

———
iMESSAGE!
new message from "interstellar kid"

interstellar kid
when do you get
off your shift today?

i'm outside

can i please talk
to you bailey?

———

        bailey glanced over timothée's texts and quickly powered off her phone. she couldn't talk to him today. her plan of him leaving for italy and forgetting all about her was already going so well.

she thought back to the diary entry she wrote to her dad earlier today. "i don't want to be alone forever dad." but the thing about her was that she'd rather be alone than try and talk things out...it was just how she functioned; not good at vulnerability.

she pulled off her apron and hung it up, grabbing her bag as her lunch hour started. she decided to stay in the back common room for lunch with her shift partner caitlin, but she was nowhere to be found.

bailey grabbed a sandwich from the dessert display, punching in her employee code to buy it. she warmed it up and walked into the common room, to find it completely empty. awesome.

she walked over to one of the small tables and pulled out her phone. she decided to call her brother and see what he was up to.

she opened the facetime app on her phone and clicked the contact 'spencer hutchins' and waited while it rang. the screen changed and the girl's mouth moulded into a smile when she saw him.

"hi spence," she said, sipping her coffee she made during her shift. "bay! what're you doing?" the blonder boy smiled through the phone. he brought his forehead closer to the camera, making bailey laugh.

"nothing much, i'm on my lunch break at work. what about you? are you with mom?"

spencer ran his hand through his hair (thank you hutchins genes), sighing, "sure am. we're dorm shopping," he said, sounding completely bored.

"oh, fun," bailey mockingly smiled because she knew he hated any sort of shopping. "listen, i know you hate this, but you'll get to see me when you move! i'll be your LA tour guide and best friend."

"sounds good," spencer laughed, "but i gotta go. we're walking into the duvet store." the siblings said goodbye and bailey clicked 'end' on the call.

she continued scrolling through her phone at instagram, twitter, and just playing random games. after about an hour, her lunch was done and she emerged back to the front of the cafe.

the next four hours passed very quickly, and before she knew it, her shift was over. bailey hung up her apron, pulled her backpack over her shoulders, and put in an airpod as she walked towards the door. she waved goodbye to her boss and pushed the door open, facing the summer heat.

she walked to the streetcar stop and stood quietly, frank ocean blasting through her airpods. she got on and travelled down the next seven blocks to the corner near her apartment.

the familiar building got closer and closer as she walked down the street. she reached the front and sprinted to the elevator when she saw it closing.

once she reached the second floor, she walked down the hall, staring at her phone. her eyes glanced up to find apartment 220, knowing she was close to her unit. after a few more feet, she was home, but there was someone sitting right beside her door.

"timothée?"

— notes!
i'm trying so hard
to write this well lmao