You and Me

Chapter 21

I enter the bathroom listening to my brother. "But everyone else will or does, do they know yet?" he says and I know he's right everyone will judge me. "We're planning on letting people know on Monday" I say and I hear him sigh "how long have you guys been dating" he asks and I sigh. The question I was trying to avoid because I'll know his reaction. "A month" I say , releasing a breath. "Wait.. didn't you start working a month ago?" he asked "yes we started dating on my first day of work" I say waiting for him to just yell at me. "Charlotte! What the hell are you doing? What were you thinking!" he says and I get upset. For once in my life I decided to do one thing for me without worrying about what people will say and he's upset about it.

"Justin, you wanna know what I was thinking?... I was thinking 'wouldn't it be nice to do something for myself without giving a shit about what people think'... listen I understand where you're coming from but I want to be happy tin tin and... he makes me happy" I say wiping a tear that had slid down my cheek.

"Your right...I'm sorry I'm just scared for you I don't want you to fall down that deep hole you were-" he says "I wont" I interrupted him thinking about how bad my depression and anxiety had gotten when I was with Jackson. "I trust that you know what you're doing, I trust you" he says "and if he makes you happy then I'm happy" he says. That's all I needed was reassurance that no matter what my brother will always support me.

"Thank you, I'm going to go eat, talk tomorrow?" I am trying to end the call before I have a meltdown. "Ok... I love you Lottie, you know that right?" he says and that was my breaking point. I moved the speaker away from my mouth and lowly sobbed for a few seconds and took a deep breath in and replied. "I know," I said while my voice cracked. "Oh Lottie" Justin sympathetically said, noticing I was crying. I didn't want to talk about it so I dismissed it. "Justin, please, don't,... talk tomorrow love you" I say and hang up. I wasn't crying because of what people were going to think about our relationship. I was crying from the memories of those almost 2 awful years I lived. God how could I have been so stupid to let myself fall down that deep hole and stay there for so long.

I sobbed for a few minutes and then I heard a knock and quickly wiped my tears. "Charlotte? Baby?" I hear Ivan say and I clear my throat. "Just a second" I say and wipe away my makeup and splashed cold water on my face to try to reduce the puffiness. I opened that door and he just looked at me worriedly. I went and hugged him. At this very moment he was the only thing that kept me from going back to that place. Even though I acted fine, this past year has been so hard. But he's here and he makes me feel safe and happy.

"You okay?... He doesn't approve, does he?" he said with a hint of disappointment in his voice. "No he does, it's just somehow the conversation about my ex came up and... it's too overwhelming right now especially after today" I say looking down at my wrist which was bruised from how tight Jacksons grip on me was earlier today. "He said as long as you make me happy he's happy... he's just worried about me being in a relationship again and about what other people will say after they find out that we started dating the day after we met, the day I started working for you" I say and he just releases a long breath walking me back to the bed making me straddle his hips.

"One I would never ever lay a hand on you because you deserve so much better, two I won't let anyone look or say something wrong about you or to you, and three..." he starts off and I could see him getting nervous and thinking about how he wants to word his next phrase. "... and three, i... I love you Charlotte Carter '' he says and I just stare at him blankly. "I know it's early but I've never felt the way I feel about you... you don't have to say it back I just-" he says and I kiss him interrupting him. I pull back, and let our foreheads still touch. "I love you" I say and he looks at me. "I thought it was too soon so I didn't want to scare you away and say it" I say chuckling and he smiles. "When I'm not around you I feel like if there isn't oxygen and I'm breathing in fire, I feel safe when I'm around you... your the only thing keeping me from a mental breakdown right now, its like... if I need you to survive" I whisper to him closing my eyes resting my forehead on his. "Is it weird that I feel the same way? '' he says, making the both of us release a small laugh. " I love you" he says and I look up at him "I love you" I reply giving a smile and our lips find their way to each other again.

Published 05/28/2022