女面 - Bungo Stray Dogs Fanfiction

Osamu Dazai's Entrance Exam - Conclusion -

"Haven't you ever been suspicious of me?"

I looked up from my glass of Hurricane, a gin cocktail with white mint and lemon skillfully concocted by the bartender. Dazai, on the other hand, sat on my left with a glass of whiskey. There we sat inside the quiet Bar Lupin, the elderly bartender before us busy mixing cocktails for the other customers who were either too tipsy or too occupied with their conversation to even realise that the detectives from the infamous Agency were among them. We had finished dinner at an izakaya in Shibuya prior to coming here. After filling our bellies with beer and grilled meat, we eventually left for a quieter; not before leaving the premise smelling like charcoal smoke and greasy meat.

I had expected him to ask me that question at some point. After all, we were no strangers, given that we'd worked together during the Arahabaki case. I was aware of his previous affiliation, his position in the Mafia, notorious things he'd done; yet, I hadn't spilled either of them to Yukichi or anyone from the Agency.

"Not really," I honestly replied, after taking a sip of my cocktail. "I'd been so caught up with the case that it left me no room to even be suspicious."

"How nobly dedicated of you," he remarked cynically, chuckling, and then took another sip. "Usually, one wouldn't be so carefree around a former Mafia Executive. Nevertheless, you still treated me as if I'm actually a newbie, seemingly without worry about the possibility that I might be a spy for the enemy. I can't help but wonder if this is the sentiment of the past or mere ignorance. Or rather - if I were to put it nicely - sentimentally naive about your grandfather's legacy that you've hoped would become fruitful."

I stared at him, and then ahead, blankly focusing on the wooden shelf placed against the wall as I cautiously pondered my response. He's right to a certain extent. One would even ask how I was not suspicious of him from the moment he entered our Agency. The Port Mafia is ill-famed for things they'd done. Despite that, it's not common to see a young detective from the Armed Agency conducting private investigations with their boss, let alone their members; or even their youngest executive whose bloodthirst rivaled their previous boss. Frankly, it's a rare sight for such an anti-hero to exist, and Dazai might be right - it might've been all for the sake of that one man who's behind the framework that's been preserving the peace of this city.

"You know, Fumiko," the man beside me continued. "I can tell that you're very kind. In this world where there is so much violence and death, you never cease to care about the well-being of the people around you; stranger or friend, or foe. I guess that's why Mori-san still feels the same after all those years, even though you've joined the side of his nemesis, another person whom you hold dear. But be careful. There's only so much that kindness can take you to."

He tilted his head back as he raised to glass to his lips higher, gulping down the last drop of beer before putting the glass back onto the coaster. After raising a hand for the bill, he looked at me in the eyes once more, saying the words that, I soon came to realise, would haunt me for the years to come.

"If there comes the time when you can only save either one; when comes the time that you would have to choose either the man who gave you a meaning to live and love you unconditionally, or the man who saw and nurtured your potential and offered you a new chapter in your life- which will you choose? Or will you sacrifice them for the sake of protecting the ideals of your grandfather?"

Of course I'll save them all, I would've replied. But could reality be kind enough to allow an alternative?

Even as I watched him attempting to charm the obstinate owner of the bar into giving him a free tab, I still do not know.

Kunikida sit on the office desk of the Detective Agency, going through his notebook. "That's it," he concluded. "It's the case of two years ago. It's all about the 'Azure Messenger' case." With that, he closed the page of his notebook.

"It was the first case Kunikida-san and Enchi-san worked together with Dazai-san," Tanizaki stated.

"That's it," the former grumbled. "That guy really unchanged after that. He teases people, as usual, and flirts with Enchi-san whenever he has the chance; his habit doesn't change and he puts us into trouble. Despite saying that today is a working day too, he doesn't show up."

Sitting at my desk while flipping through the newspaper, I swiveled in the chair and called, "Naomi-san, can you grasp the signal of the transmitter?"

"The result comes out," replied the said girl. "It seems that the transmitter hasn't been moving since about 20 minutes ago. I wonder if the location is the river."

Closing the papers, I approached her desk where I peered at the map that she spread. The small, coin-sized transmitter that Kunikida handed over to Dazai earlier this morning remained stagnant in the middle of the river.

Why am I not surprised?

"I see," said Kunikida nonchalantly. He's probably just as immune to our colleague's antics as I was. "That idiot jumped into the river while walking, sending his wallet into the river along with the transmitter. The wallet was washed away to that place. The person himself will be more downstream."

It briefly took me back to the moment when we were talking with Dazai under investigation on our cell phones. Maybe that explains the abrupt end as he cooed, "What a nice river it is."

"I will search for that oaf," Kunikida declared. "Indeed, how sad it is, it should be done before I start the detective work."

"I'll go with you," I chimed in.

"Take care," Tanizaki bid us. "What's your work for today?"

"It's about the tiger," my colleague replied. "We should capture the 'human-eating tiger' that's been causing trouble in Yokohama."

Once I'd put on my blazer, Kunikida retrieved his notebook, and we left the Agency.

As we walked along the busking streets of Yokohama, dusk was already approaching, and the sky was painted with streaks of blue and red. I suddenly stopped in track and stared at the city that I grew up in and came to love; the city where death and sadness prevail. There's bound to be blood spilled, no matter how much we try to save everyone. I can understand why someone like the Azure King had given up pursuing his principles, and the person he loved, too, was floating adrift in the vast sea with no destination in sight. So much like how I was.

"Enchi-san, are you okay?" Kunikida's voice snapped me out of my thoughts.

"Yeah," I responded curtly before walking, leaving the crowd.

But alas, life is naught without a challenge to one's ideals. Even the driest lake shall persist for the first drop of rain, for this drought is as impermanent as everything else.