The Direction it Goes ( Kuroko no Basket Fanfiction)

Chapter 10

THIS PLOT IS MINE AND THE ONLY THING I OWN IS RYOGA KISE (AKA MY OC) SO YALL DON'T COPY THIS K? K.

" Maybe all the strings inside him broke" -Margo Roth Spiegelman, Paper Towns, by John Green.

Ryoga was walking home late from school after realizing he accidentally fell asleep in his classroom.

He quietly crossed the street, his light footsteps barely making a sound.

Walking home from school he finally reached his destination. He dug through his school bag to find the house keys, and once he did he quickly hurried inside his house.

He didn't bother telling anyone he was home because there was never anyone there. His parents were traveling abroad while his older brother was walking home from basketball practice.

Ryoga looked towards to clock down the hallway and realized his brother must be coming home right about now and right when he said that he heard the door behind him opening. He took off his shoes and faced the direction towards the opening door where he saw the wisps of blond hair of his brother.

His brother instantly noticed him and gave him an awkward smile that seemed like he was trying to think of some way to start a conversation.

Ryoga didn't want that to happen at all. He never wanted that to happen because he would have no idea what to say to his brother.

He gave a slight nod to Ryota and quickly turned around and walked towards the hallway to his room . Before he could get to his room though, his brother called out to him.

"Ryoga?"

Ryoga felt himself stiffen. The voice of his brother sounded curious and slightly worried but he pushed that last thought aside because he and his brother hadn't had a normal conversation in years. Why would he suddenly worried about him now? When it was too late?

With that last thought he slowly continued walking to his room, knowing that his brother would have his way, because he always does, and everything he does is important.

Ryota on the other hand just wanted to talk to his brother after not seeing him for a long time but Ryoga's actions only seemed to annoy him further.

"I don't know or understand why you seem to avoid the situations that seem to be helpful to you the most."

Ryoga held his breath. He obviously did not expect this to come out of his outgoing brother. He rarely took anything seriously and turned around only to face the determined gaze of his older brother.

Ryoga heaved a sigh and spoke softly enough for his brother to hear, " It's because I'm scared you're going to lie to me."

" Why would I do that?"

Obviously his brother didn't understand the point he was trying to cross so he had to thoroughly explain this to him.

"Why wouldn't you, you're the 'better' brother who everyone seems to love and I'm just here left in the dust where no one cares."

"I care."

" Well then you have a good way of showing it."

Ryota was left speechless as he saw his brother turn his back towards him and walk towards his room. There was so much to say that was left unsaid. For once, Ryota didn't have the courage to do anything. He was afraid talking to his brother only for him to push him away and he didn't know why.

Call him clueless, dense, oblivious but he really had no idea because all he thought he was doing was protecting his brother. He sighed to himself and ruffled his hair and slowly walked to his room with a slumped back. Perhaps was not the right time to talk to his little brother.

As for Ryoga, he was in his room. He was sitting with his back against the door with music drowning in his ears. No matter how high he turned the music up it did nothing to change what had occurred.

He stared blankly towards the window in his room. He stared at the several placed library books he brought home the previous day. He stared at the open cabinet he forgot to close.

He stared at nothing yet everything. It was meaningless with a purpose and he wondered if perhaps the purpose of what he was doing now was not the one he needed in his life.

He stared at the floor devoid of emotion. His head bowed down as if he fell asleep and letting the music get louder and louder in his ears so he could forget. The lyrics that seemed to hold such meaning to him that he couldn't help but feel as if he was falling, drowning in his own helpless thoughts that seemed to go further, deeper into the darkest pit of his mind.

He brought his knees to his chest and released a sigh he didn't realize he was holding. He was done with himself for being such a coward and realized he didn't know how to change that, didn't know where to start. The best he could do was keep up a facade and his little talk with his brother seemed to occur to him that it was breaking.

He was breaking.

Like a million pieces of a jigsaw puzzle finally being ripped apart from each other, slowly, piece by piece-

What was he afraid of?

that only seemed to keep breaking even when they were already broken-

What could he do so he could change?

He let himself be carried away with his emotions because no one was here to see him like this. It felt like all the strings in him just seem to be ripped apart from him to the point of no recovery.

Where was his first step?

He grabbed the nearest book on his desk and opened it. Ryoga let himself be absorbed in a world where no one knew his problems, where he didn't need to be himself to be free, where he could escape from the reality he didn't want to be in.

Because what was so wrong with being a part of something that made you feel better about yourself?

And only then did he notice the tears fall from his cheek, down to his chin, and on to the opened book.

And he cried and cried and cried because he was lost and he was human and he just didn't know what to do because all he wanted to do was to escape. All his emotions weren't making sense right now and they were all jumbled up and he couldn't concentrate on what he was doing and he just wanted it all to be over and done with.

He wanted everything with his brother to be resolved, he wanted something to change, to make this lonely feeling go away so he didn't have to deal with it. He wanted to put it aside so he could deal with it later.

Maybe by then he could learn to cope with it.

But he knew that was never going to happen because in this world things never happened that way.

He desperately hung to that little bit of string left that was still attached to him, the only thing left that held him together but, 

what were there to hold when he was already breaking?

At this point he only let himself fall farther into the deep pit of his mind.