The Direction it Goes ( Kuroko no Basket Fanfiction)

Chapter 6

This story is mine, so please don't copy this. The only thing I own is Ryoga Kise as a character.

 

There were these moments when Ryoga felt an undeniable jealousy towards his older brother. He felt as though he should live up to his brother's expectations. 

Everyone's expectations. 

He felt if he didn't live up to their expecations, they would be disappointed in him. He felt as if it was his duty because here he was, watching his brother, be someone who he isn't. Ryoga knew being someone you weren't was never a good thing, but why did he feel so jealous? 

He didn't want to feel this way. He just wanted to...to....

That was the thing. He didn't know what he even wanted.

He wished he did. 

Ryoga was standing next to his older brother. Their gazes, their attention, directly towards his older brother as if he was a piece of valuable jewlery. He didn't like it. He didn't like it because he just stood there, thinking and thinking, feeling as if they were glaring at him, as if they were looking down on him, as if they were judging him, and he felt like he was melting towards the ground because he had no idea what to do. 

He wasn't extraordinary.

He wasn't funny or someone people wanted to be around with. 

He was quiet. 

He was the exact opposite of his older brother. 

He knew for one thing, what he was.

He was normal. 

And it was fine. 

But it didn't stop the feeling of harsh glares boring into his head, but he tried. 

Tried, to ignore the feeling and pretend he didn't sense anything. 

It was like he was standing in the middle of the crowd and he had nowhere to go to as everybody rushed to their loved ones. 

He was spinning, deciding which direction to go to, who to go to. But eventually his gaze drooped a little, all hope vanished from him, as he stood there. 

He stared and stared and he wanted to cry because there was no one there. They left, to be crowded by his older brother and for some reason he couldn't help but think that, that wasn't fair. 

So he chose what he thought was the best option and ran. 

And ran. 

And ran.

Until he could no more and collapsed on his knees, panting for someone to be there, because right now he felt alone. 

He wanted to stop searching for someone, he wanted that person to search for him

He didn't care who it was. 

He needed someone. 

Ryoga didn't want his brother to see this pathetic side of him. He didn't want him to see how terrible and pitying he looked right at this moment. He didn't need pity. He needed warmth. Friendship. 

But it wasn't there. 

And that was when he knew he had to give up, because it was useless.

He didn't need any of this. 

He didn't need to feel this way. He shouldn't have.

But he felt so guilty.

For being a terrible person.

For feeling this way.

He shouldn't have felt this way.

He felt selfish.

He felt like a child. 

And he breathed and yelled out to the people who weren't there. To the people who were looking at him strangely but he didn't care because he was himself.

And he was normal.

He wasn't extraoridnary. 

He was just himself, and that was fine. 

But why..why did he want something more? 

And that was when he felt the small hand on his head pat him lightly. He turned around to see the small smile on Kuroko's face. The warm smile that told him that he was going to be alright. 

Ryoga felt as if this was the first time he really did have a friend. 

He couldn't ask for more. 

Because he knew that having a trustworthy friend was enough. 

And he hoped that this was just the beginning of a beautiful friendship.

And he smiled.