Low on Serotonin

My First Date Yay!

You overthink. You write.

You underthink. You read.

Came across this on Instagram yesterday and it's all I can think about right now. Cause seriously, overthinking is my surname. If the amount of time I spend thinking about all the bullshit in this world was invested in my PhD thesis, I would be teaching at Harvard today. And if I go by this post, I should be writing down all that bullshit. Jokes apart though, teaching Economics at Harvard really is my dream. It has been one since I can remember.

My train of thoughts is interrupted when I hear this group of pubescence of First Year making noise. I throw the duster on the floor so damn hard my own hand hurts. Yes I do shit like this in the classroom cause I may act like the submissive simpleton everywhere but here I actually own the room. I own the room cause I know what I am doing and I know that it is right. I own the room cause I love what I am doing and it is everything I have ever wanted. Expressing myself and explaining what I know.

*****

After a long day at work I find myself in my cozy room watching Friends and having Maggi and Coke. Best. Combo. Ever.

My phone beeps just when I had made myself comfortable. And I feel this surge of emotions all at once. My heart is pounding as I open Damien's text asking what time he can pick me up from college tomorrow. Seriously he has this effect on me and it's only been like two weeks. I can't seem to stop thinking about him. But these two weeks have been solid ones. He texts me day and night. It's before work. It's after work. It's before my dance practice, it's after. His standard go-to conversation starter is What's for breakfast/lunch/dinner? and then the convo goes on until one of us starts feeling the urge to sleep. At times I don't even tell him that I am feeling sleepy until I am almost entirely asleep. It's not like he flirts too much or is really good at it. He keeps the conversation simple and straight. It's just that I have never had a guy see me romantically let alone text me all day long and check on me every time I am a bit out of sorts. I might be attaching myself to him too soon. But hey! I don't care. All I know is that finally a guy wants me and I am not letting anything get in the way!

I text back.

Umm around 2 maybe? I have to teach till 1 and then I have to discuss my thesis with Mrs. Garcia. Stupid crone has been giving me a hard time ever since she was made my PhD Guide.

Okay 2 sounds perfect! No wait I have to enter an important call tomorrow at 12:30. The call is kind of an important one. It might get followed by a meeting so I'll let you know in the morning. But hey, dw. I'll be there by 2:30 max.

Umm okay. No problem.

Yeah. So. Wyd?

You see the first time Damien used 'wyd', I googled it right that instant and felt really dumb. I am really bad with abbreviations, not going to lie.

We go on talking till like 1:30 am until I start feeling sleepy. I don't make it very evident that I am super excited about this date. But man! Am I!!

Five minutes later I get an email from ocdwellness.org. I have so much hope from this mail. Two months back I had filled out this form to take part in this mental health seminar taking place in the South of Pennsdale. The most articulate and one of the most famous therapists on Instagram, Nina Thompson is going to speak at it. She specializes in Anxiety and related disorders. I have been following her content since 2017 and I am yet not over how well the woman writes on Relationships and boundaries. She is the NYT bestselling author of Peace over Happiness.

I open the mail only to find out that I am in the waiting list.

*****

Mrs. Garcia is pain. She has been trying to make me deviate from my thesis subject Gravity model in International Trade but she won't succeed.