The Hidden Life of Casper Kade

Entry 11

Entry 11

  I don't know what else there is to write about. I've shared just about every important (or relatively interesting) piece of my life. I don't know what more I can do other than a closing.

   There are a lot of empty pages in this notebook. I'd say if I continued, I'd have this book filled within a year or so. Things wouldn't be much different then though. I'd write about how Lewis won't come around, how Angie leaves me for college and how I crawl through the rest of high school with temporary friends who don't care.

    Anyway, I want to write a few notes to some of you. I covered a few people throughout but I don't want to forget anyone:

   -Ben, I know you can't read yet (and I highly doubt this book will ever get around to you) but I want to thank you for being the way you are. I enjoy your ever-so-intelligent jokes and stories. I hope you stay your good-humored self as you get older.

   -Sadie, we don't really communicate much but I'd like to try harder. It's awkward for me though. I guess it probably is for you too... We've spent all 14 years of your life sort of just staring at each other from time to time and shooting each other glares. But, even still, I know you know how to be mature and I think we could at least tolerate each other better if we wanted. I'm going to try with you whether you accept me or not.

   -Mom, it sounds dumb, but I really appreciate the little things we've done lately. I've enjoyed our talks in the evenings and weekends. Your work-gossip is entertaining to hear. Heather is quite a piece of work, I agree... I'm sorry I can't enjoy your soap-operas though. They're too over-dramatized. I'll still sit there with you but I can't even pretend to enjoy the show.

   -Lewis... I already told you all I wanted to.

   -May, I wish you the best. I think you deserve to be treated better but I also think you should try out being pleasant. You're a good person. You just keep that half of yourself buried.

   You're not fat or ugly or anything else negative Austin told you. You know as well as I that he was messing with you. You don't need me to tell you all that. Please stop letting others run you life. I miss you.

   -Angie, you're the best. Seriously. I'm practically dying right now because I can't flick your earlobe or cross one of my eyes to freak you out. New York is a little too far for me to come just for that. Anyway, I've always appreciated your sense of humor even though I don't always get your hyper, energy drink induced antics. I might shake my head at you but inside, I hope you know that I'm laughing. 

   Every time you asked me how I was and if you could help, I want you to know that it helped for you to just ask me. I knew you would do anything for me and that means a lot. I wish I would have taken you up on it though. I think you would have liked that better than me shoving you off.

   Each time you came to me, I wanted to tell you. I wanted to tell you everything I've written down in here and more. From now on, I'll do my best to answer personal questions better.