Hold Up, I'm An Arsenal Bird Now?!

Act 10 - Text-To-Speech Arbiter

In the distance, a squadron of F-14D Tomcats escorted the Arbiter. Lines of trucks carried soldiers and refugees back to the city. While it all seemed to be at peace for a moment, chaos filled the Arbiter's mind.

...

What the fuck am I supposed to do with this speaker?

There is a speaker in my inventory, and nobody told me, not even the system, that it exists. I checked out what it was, and it's a text-to-speech speaker, for whatever reason. There were no descriptions. I feel like using the speaker, but how can I use it? It doesn't give basic instructions on how to use it, and it's probably a joke item or some shit from the start.

The Next Day

Today is a sunny day here in Autrius, people! To the west, we can see a dragon zooming straight toward me.

...

Wait

"I'M BACK, MOTHERBIRD!"

Oh my fucking god Elisa, can you fuck off now, would you?!

...

"...All of a sudden, this dragon got its head blown off by a steel wyvern! I'm pretty sure it's not one of your own."

Right, more planes. I expected this. The sudden presence of my F-14Ds during the Battle of Iltroyum proves that. Now that I think about it, what are the possible aircraft squadrons I might fight in the future? Only time will tell.

"So yeah, we're spared from the sudden attack, but the reason is why?"

Don't ask that.

We have had this one-sided conversation for thirteen fucking hours now, and the sun is about to set. HOW DID I NOT REALIZE IT?! Besides that, how many stories do you even have? I swear they're endless. Elisa realized this now and woke up Elly from her nap.

"I need to go, Motherbird, or else my dad might ground me again. See you tomorrow."

Better hope not.

She rode her dragon off to somewhere, probably in the direction I first met her. Now, what do I do?

...

I could try out the speaker, but first, I need to install it.

Somehow

...

I located an empty field not far from here. It's a few minutes of travel from here, so it's nothing too sketchy. I arrived at the designated location and sent drones to scout the perimeter. I equipped the TTS Speaker and tried various methods to get it working. After multiple failed attempts, I began to use the system to get it to work. The speaker finally came to life. I thought of random words that couldn't make sense, and the speaker screamed.

"WHAT THE FUCKS UP, HELICOPTER GOES SWOA-SWOA-SWOA-SWOA-SWOA."

It's TTS S.A.M. I fucking love this speaker. I thought of this stupid commercial and decided to, well, you know how it goes.

"HAS YOU REALLY BEEN FAR EVEN AS DECIDED TO USE, EVEN THOUGH WANT TO LOOK MORE LIKE? CALL 985-655-2500 INSIDE THE DETAILS FOR. GO FURTHER, AND EVEN MORE DECIDED TO USE! YOU CAN REALLY BE FAR AS DECIDED TWICE AS MUCH TO USING GO WISH FOR IT! WHEN YOU DECIDE FAR EVEN ONCE TO USE IT AND GO WANT, THEN GET REALLY FAR EVEN AS DECIDED TO USE, AND LOOK MORE LIKE, AND GO AFTER. IT'S JUST COMMON SENSE! APPLY TODAY!"

I wanted to laugh so hard right now, but I remembered I don't have a mouth. All stupidity aside, I wanted to modify the speaker that enables the ability to use other Text-To-Speech voices. What could it use though? The 15.ai voices could work.

...

A certain nun watched the entire scene with uneasiness. Her magic-infused cloak made her nearly invisible even in infrared. Now with Arbiter leaving the area, she held her chest, looking in the Motherbird's direction. It finally had its voice.

"Am-*hic*am I... useless now?"

...

Somewhere far away, a squadron of 4 wreaked havoc on the defenseless kingdom. Its 500lb GP bombs annihilated countless buildings as their GAU-8/A Avenger 30mm cannon shredded through civilians and soldiers alike without an ounce of mercy. The chaos subsided in minutes, and the kingdom is no more. The A-10C Thunderbolt II(aka the BRRRT King) left the airspace to find more victims to claim.

...

My procrastination habits came back, and I want to fight my sanity.

Also

Meme, take

I'm doing an A-10 campaign run, and I made it halfway.