This Love (Belly's Version)

Summer 8

The summer when I was eight years old was when my life changed for the better. It was the first summer that another girl was going to be at the summer house. She was only gonna be there for two weeks but two weeks was better then being constantly left out by the boys.

"For the last time Isabel, her name is Jocelyn and she's eight just like you. You guys are gonna hang out and have some fun until she leaves."

Eight year old me wanted to pry my mother for more information. What did she like? Would she like me? Would she look like Conrad or Jere? Do cousins look alike?

"She's here! Be nice, ok?"

I immediately stood from the lunch table where my mom had set out some crayons for me to color from until Jocelyn had gotten there. I was bouncing with excitement. Finally someone I could play with! I stood at my mom side as the front door opened. Susannah came through first, a small pink and black duffle bag in her hand. But then I peered behind her.

"Belly, this is Jocelyn. Jocelyn, this is Belly."

I waved at the girl infront of me. She was kinda chubby and had long frizzy hair. She didn't look directly at me but waved back anyways. I walked closer, stopping a few inches infront of her. She seemed nervous. I didn't want her to be nervous.

"Do you wanna color with me?"

I pointed to the table behind me and smiled at her. Jocelyn's eyes finally met mine. They were brown and doe shaped, making her look like a doll.

"Yea, I'll color with you."

I immediately grabbed her hand and dragged her to the table with me. We spent the entire week with each other. We swam in the pool every morning and night. We went to the boardwalk with Conrad, Jere, and Steven. We even shared my room. That one had caused some odd situations.

"So you wanna kiss Conrad?"

I blushed and we both giggled. It was the middle of the night but me and Jocelyn had no intention of going to sleep. We had committed to staying up as long as we could. We had a whole six days left with eachother. Years later I read an article that talk about how not sleeping made you delusional and more open to making bad decisions. I thought back to this specific night when I read those words.

"Yea but I've never kissed anyone. How do you even do it?"

I had seen many different kisses in movies. Some of them were quick and other looked like one was trying it devour the other. Jocelyn tapped her chin as she thought.

"I don't know. You wanna try it?"

My lungs suddenly felt empty. Jocelyn was asking me if I wanted to kiss her? Could girls kiss girls?

"Wouldn't that make us like...lesbians?"

Jocelyn shrugged.

"I don't think so. My babysitter said she'd kissed girls before but she had a boyfriend that would come over and they'd go into the bathroom too have sex."

My eyes widened. Steven had told me about sex. He said that it's how babies were made and told me that the boys have to rip the girls insides to make the babies. I don't ever wanna have sex.

"Are you sure we won't get in trouble?"

My mom had told me that I wasn't allowed to kiss boys. Technically Jocelyn wasn't a boy but still. She stood and up walked over to the door, locking it.

"Now we're good."

She sat back down across from me on the bed. I could feel my heart beating loudly. I leaned in and closed my eyes. Jocelyn put her hands on my cheeks and pulled me closer to her. Our lips pecked the others for a second before we pulled away. Just a little. She smelled sweet. She always smelled sweet.

"That was...cool."

I nodded and looked between her lips and eyes. I remembered that in the movies, they usually always go back for another kiss. A longer and deeper one. I breathed in before grabbing her face and kissing her harder. Jocelyn immediately melted into the kiss, our mouths moving in sync. I could feel her tongue slip into my mouth so I slipped mine into hers. Is this what kissing felt like? Her hands climbed up my legs and gently laid onto my hips. My thumb caressed her cheek and-

"Belly?"

The door knob shook and we jumped away from eachother.

"Belly? I'm taking you and Jocelyn to the park tomorrow so don't stay up any later please. I don't need to deal with the crankiness."

Steven knocked on the door gently and I listened for his footsteps to disappear down the hall. I could feel my face burning and Jocelyn looked spooked. Stevens bedroom door shut and Jocelyn immediately stood up.

"We should listen to him. Goodnight Belly."

Jace grabbed a folded blanket that was sitting on the edge of my bed and a small throw pillow. She laid on the floor, not bothering to look at me again. I wanted to say something. I wanted to ask her to sleep with me.

"Goodnight Jocelyn."

I pulled up the blanket and laid down, facing the window. I could clearly see the moon from here. My body was tired from being so...hot. But as I closed my eyes that night, I could swear I heard the sound of muffled cries.