You (WangXian Short Story)

You ~ Blue is You

Watching Lan Zhan sleep blissfully has always been a treat for me. Usually the one to wake up after him, it's rare for me to be up before dawn and even rarer for me to be awake before Gusu's ritual time of awakening.

Today; sleep evaded my senses and even though Lan Zhan wrung every ounce of my body last night, still my heart was restless.
My soul felt it was missing out on something and I couldn't find any clues on what that could be.

Kissing my beloved's cheek softly, I smile at the faint love bite on his neck and careful I trudge around our chamber. Collecting Lan Zhan's inner robes I smirk at my tattered ones discarded unceremoniously on the ground.

How many has it been now? A lot!

I grin at the memory of once not owning any inner robes; thanks to my husband's lovely impatience and debauchery. Lan Zhan never cared for my robes, his moto; 'What is mine is yours. Pick out any clothes of mine and wear them around'; having said that, it was at times quite an embarrassment; not for Lan Zhan or me; but for the Lan Clan when they would see me donned in Lan Zhan 's clothes.

Our shenanigans were well known around the realm. Which brings me to the present; I do need to visit the market soon to buy some inner robes for peace and pride of these Lans.

With utmost care to not make any noise, I leave my Lan Zhan to enjoy his slumber and proceed towards his writing chamber.

When my heart's filled with melancholy and words don't seem to describe my innermost feelings, I subconsciously sit in front of Lan Zhan's desk and pick out any random letter he wrote from the past to read my beloved's longing for me.

Today was one such letter. Like his speech it was short; but the words seared my soul. Lan Zhan abhors me reading these letters. He believes that these should never be read by me. He had written when there was no scope of hope; but how could I not?

These letters are those fine lines that made me realise how feeble are our lives. How Lan Zhan once lost me and if I'm not careful, history can always repeat.

Dear Wei Ying,

Blue is you.
Azure is you.
My body is here but soul askew.
Nights are same, days are few;
my robes are white; jaded by the love I have for you.
Colours are lost if not black and red.
Let me be the white to your black in this monochrome world.
My Wei Ying; my love for you is as pure as blue; blue is you; Azure is you.

Yours,
Lan Zhan

Before I could wipe the tears, a soft yet cold palms cupped my cheeks and kissed the side of my head.

In his coarse voice he whispered, "Why do you keep reading them when all they do is make you cry?"

Unable to be away from him; I twist my body and hug Lan Zhan with all my might. Even though I hear his grunt it did not deter me. I wished with all my soul to make his pain evanesces.

"I love you." Was all I could say.

Embracing me warmly I felt Lan Zhan lips on my crown. "And you know my heart will always belong to you my Wei Ying."

Glancing up at Lan Zhan I asked what my heart feared, "Tell me please; what did you mean in this letter? In this poem?"

"Why Wei Ying? Why do you wish to know? It's just going to hurt you even more."

"Please..."

With a sigh Lan Zhan took the letter from my hand and without glancing at the contents he recited those words once again, this time for my ears.