cradle to grave

upside-down

Harry's POV

I close my eyes really tightly, willing the heavy pain on my chest go away.

Praying for the ability to turn back time, so me and Louis wouldn't have had that conversation.

So it doesn't feel like every time I breath shards of glass are tearing through my lungs.

I feel like punching my fist through a wall, just so I could feel something besides this crippling pain in my chest.

I need to get out of here right now, and before I can even move. There's a knock on my door.

No no no, I don't want to see him...not like this, not right now.

I need to go.

"Harry, why's the door locked?"

I let out a breath I didn't know I was holding.

"It's called privacy niall, you ever heard of it"

He huffs, "just open the door mate"

Right i look like shit but if I don't look at him, maybe he won't notice.

I drag myself out of bed and open the door, keeping my head down.

Niall makes a beeline for the bed without looking at me.

"Harry mate, why is this pillow wet?.. did you...aaarh" he jumps out of bed with a disgusted face.

I whip my head up confused by his disgust, "what do you mean did..."

"Your eyes are soo fuckin red and puffy... did you cry all night?... what's wrong?... why didn't you wake me up?... are you okay?..." niall says touching my face as if it has answers.

Well so much for hiding my face, "I'm fine niall... I'm just, .. I was about to get up and well I guess not pack cause I haven't unpacked anything...so I'll just grab my stuff and go."

"You were about to grab your stuff and go?... without me..?" Niall sounds offended, and I want to feel bad but I'm holding the tears back by what feels like chewing gum to a cracking Dam.

"I was going to text you, ...I need to leave" I insist.

He looks at me for a moment, "Alright, where we going?"

"No no, you don't have to leave with me... but I'll try to get in the doms today,  if not I'm going back home"

"I'll get my stuff"

I pull him into a hug, and soon as I feel his arms around me. A sob rips through me, and cry... louder than I did last night...cause there's no pillow to hide my face in...

The door is opened violently and Louis walks in, "harry..."

I hold niall tighter, forcing myself to not look at louis.

"Baby..."

"Get him out of here" I whisper in Niall's ear. Clearly not low enough cause I see Louis flinching at my words.

"Harry please..."

The more louis talks, the harder I hold on to niall... I might even leave bruises, but I can't let myself run to louis right now.

"He doesn't want you here, I know this is your place. But we'll be out of here in less than five minutes.  So give us some space" niall tells louis, without turning around to look at him.

"I can't, I need to talk to him..."

"There's nothing to talk about, you made yourself pretty clear last night... there was no miscommunication, I assure you." I snap at him, venom dripping from my voice.

"I didn't mean what I said...."

I look up at him, "you didn't?' I ask, failing to mask the hope I'm feeling at his words.

"No ba..." Louis starts walking towards me, but he's interpreted by niall

"What exactly did you say?" Niall turns around to  ask Louis, one arm still holding on to me.

I glare at him... and try to pull away but he doesn't let go.

Instead he keeps staring at louis.

"That's none of your business niall" Louis hisses, looking at his feet.

"I think it is, I walked in here to find harry crying..."

"I wasn't crying" I huff.

"Harry cried all night because of whatever you said to him.."

"Ok don't exaggerate, it wasn't aaaallll night" niall ignores me.

"So you can't just walk in here and take it back, and expect everything to be fine.

"He can though," I look at louis, "you can" I tell him.

"So now, louis tell me what exactly you said to my best friend?" Niall asks.

Louis doesn't say anything, I frown at that... "he told me that he's not inlove with me. And he thought my feelings for him were just childish, he wanted all that to be clear so there wasn't any miscommunication." I tell Niall, cause I know he won't let me go unless he knows what happened. And if my voice is filled with bitterness well...

"So you've changed your mind and now you're inlove with him?" Niall asks Louis.

"That's not...no...I didn't mean that..."Louis mumbles.

No..no...he's not doing this to me again, is he?....

"You walked in here saying you didn't mean what you said, so which part didn't you mean?" Niall snaps.

"Don't snap at me niall!"

"Which-part-did-you-not-mean-louis" niall asks, ignoring Louis's outburst.

"I just wanted to fix things with harry, I need to talk to him and you're..."

"GET OUT" I scream at him.

Louis looks shocked, "what?"

"I said get the fuck out louis, I can't believe I almost.. get out... get out.." I feel my legs giving out, and i fall down mumbling get out.

I hear footsteps rushing over to me, "Don't you fuckin dare touch him... we're getting our stuff and we're leaving... five minutes I told you...now get out"

There's no response, I think maybe louis left. Somehow the thought hurts me even more, even though I'm the one who screamed at him to get out.

"Niall please..." Louis starts

"No" niall says firmly

"Where will you guys go?"

Niall doesn't say anything. 

"I need to atleast know that he's going to be okay, so where will you guys go?" Louis begs...

"We're going to try to get into the doms at uni, If not then we're going back home"

"Ok, I'll drive you guys"

"He doesn't want you here"

"He doesn't get to make that choice, this is about his safety. I am driving you guys, I'll wait until your signed in...If not, I'm driving you back home. You understand?"

Niall mumbles, "okay"

I feel niall pulling me off the floor and placing me on the bed. I wrap my arms around my knees, and ignore the commotion happening around me.