cradle to grave

He sees me.

Harry's pov

I wake up on Louis's bed by myself.

I try to not let the disappointment weigh me down, we talked last night but it didn't actually lead anywhere.

Well except the friends zone.

I find him in the kitchen drinking tea, looking as if he's had a long night.

"You didn't come to bed last night", I say as a way of greeting.

He puts his cup down then looks up at me, "Yeah, I know.  Me and liam kinda got drunk and I didn't want to disturb you so we slept in Zayn's room"

"In Zayn's room?" I ask, in what I hope is a nonchalant voice.

"Yes"

"Was zayn there?" I ask, trying to look busy by making myself tea.

I know they're best friend, but since I found out Zayn's inlove with Louis. I've had a one sided competition with him.

"No he slept in Liam's room", Louis says, I can feel his eyes following my every movement.

"Oh", well atleast neither one of us got to sleep with Louis last night.

"Yeah, I was uum talking to liam about you and i" Louis says, and I almost drop the cup of tea I'm holding.

I clear my throat and lean on the counter, "Yeah, what about us?"

"Oh you know, just... that I don't really have a reason to not be with you" he says.

I wait for him to say more, he doesn't.

I clear my throat again, "you don't?"

"I mean I do, but my reasons aren't really...I guess...I just don't trust that what you feel for me, is infact what you think it is" he says, and I put the cup down.

Here we go again, "Louis you did not start up this conversation to tell me the same thing again did you?... I'm getting tired of being gently put down by you" I snap.

He gets up and rushes to put his hands on my shoulders, "hey, no no no, that's not what I'm doing. I'm just a bit hangover and I really wanted us to have this conversation and now I'm rumbling"

I take a deep breath, I shouldn't ruin this for myself by being impatient "it's okay, what did you want to say exactly?" I ask, feeling so tense and anxious like I'll snap any  second if he doesn't get on with it.

"I'll give us a fair shot, meaning I'll stop seeing you as nothing more than my kid brother. Or as if you don't really know your own mind. I'm willing to be open to the possibility that we could be more"

I can't help it, I scream and tightly wrap my arms around him picking him up and spinning us around.

"Wait I'm not  finished, put me down", he says already trying to get down.

"Uuum yeah, sorry .. " I say sheepishly, trying and desperately failing to hide my excitement.

"But I also need you to give other people a fair shot. I'm not saying that you're not inlove with me, I just...can't wrap my head around that you want me, and no one else?. You haven't even  had your first kiss yet, well you hadn't the last time we talked. Like if we actually do this harry, I don't think I could do it half way. I can't risk our relationship, for a fling" he explains.

"But it wouldn't be a fling, I promise you it wouldn't. And for the past few weeks, I thought you didn't want me. I got shit faced everyday for a while. And yet, even when I had the opportunity to be with other people. I didn't take it, cause I only want you.

I can not agree to something that forces me to try something I don't want?. I just want you, and I'll give you as much time as you need to wrap your head around that fact ."

Louis just looks at me, and doesn't say anything for a bit. And I feel compelled to explain myself some more to him, but then

"I've never known you to be patient, you're a brat who wants what he wants. And acts up when he doesn't get it" Louis teases, with a smirk on his face.

We're still standing so close together, so  even trying to shy away from him isn't that easy. "Yeah well, you know me better than anyone. Who better to take care of me than you?"

Louis places his hand on my cheek, and I unconsciously lean toward it. "No one, just me...yeah?" He whispers.

"Yes..."

"Don't say daddy" He says, just when I'm contemplating it.

I whine, "but why not?"

"Because that is a different conversation that we need to have, and I'll not have it  whilst hangover and hungry, and we haven't even figured this out." He says gesturing to us, "We don't need to rush into bdsm"

"No" I tell him, cause I'm not really sure how to articulate my thoughts.

"No?" He asks, clearly baffled.

"Yes No, I...this isn't some sort of kink. Well I mean it is. But it's not just a thing I like to do to spice my life up I think , it feels like a part of me. of who I am and what I've imagined our relationship to be. I mean obviously I won't call you that all the time, unless you want me to. But, please just don't push it aside as if...it's not that important"

And once again, he just looks at me without saying anything. So I continue talking.

"I know that we're not even together yet, I know that. And maybe I'm asking for too much all at once, but I don't want you to dismiss this part of me." I tell him, desperate to make him understand.

"Its not that I want to dismiss a part of you, but...I guess I'm just once again, feeling like I'm taking away your innocence. And robbing you of an opportunity to have fun and enjoy  university  and casual relationships. Like if we do this, you'll somehow feel trap with me."

"But I want to be, I'll even show you a scrap book of our wedding day plans if you don't believe me. I want everything with you, please try to understand that"

"Okay" Louis says.

"Okay?, what does that mean?"

"It means, I know you're obsessed with me" he says making a funny face, "and I won't let my fears keep me away from you anymore"

I can't help it, I crush my lips against his. This is definitely not what I expected to happen when I woke up this morning, but I plan on being the best boyfriend he's ever had. And the last one, cause this man is my husband.

I don't say that though, I let him take over the kiss once he's done being shocked by the fact that we're kissing.

He pushes me against the counter, and pulls for air  "fuck, we definitely should've done this sooner"

"I could've told you that" I tease him, puckering my lips for another kiss and he kisses me again. A bit more gently, making me feel dizzy and weak on the knees.

"Well, I guess you made your choice then" a voice says, behind us.

Louis pulls away, and I could fuckin cry but I don't. I just tightening my hold on him.

I turn around to find liam looking at us, with a knowing smirk on his face.

"Liam... stop, we're trying to have a moment here." Louis says, flipping him off.

"Well could you have it, in your bed room please. I doubt Zayn will appreciate walking in on your moment" liam says, with no more traces of teasing.

"It's okay Liam" Zayn says, peeking out from behind the couch.