cradle to grave

Distance

Harry's POV

It's been 2 months since I've seen Louis, and to say I've missed him would be an understatement.

The getting blackout drunk phase got old really fast, within a month of doing it.

I stopped.

"So we going out Saturday or?" I ask niall.

Niall looks at me, worry written all over his face "I thought you were taking a break from that"

I huff, "yes niall, I'm done getting piss drunk, doesn't mean I can't drink at all. I'm not an alcoholic, I was just going through a thing"

"Which you refuse to talk about" he points out.

"What's there to talk about, I was inlove with Louis...he wasn't in love with me."

Niall gives me that look, that I hate.

"Stop feeling sorry for me niall, yes i wasted my time and I feel like an idiot. But I don't need your pity looks" I snap.

"I'm sorry, I just...you never talk to me anymore. I just want to know how you feel."

I take a step closer to him,"You want to know how I feel really?"

He stands his ground, "yes"

"I feel like I've been stripped of everything I've ever known. I lost my best friend and the love of my life all at once. I feel like someone's opened me up, put me back together all wrong and I've no idea how to fix it. I feel like, everything I believed to be true was a lie and I can't trust my own instincts anymore. I don't know what's real and what isn't. He broke me, I know he didn't mean to, which somehow makes it hurts so much more but he did. And yet I can't breeeeaaaath without him."

By the time I'm finished, my breathing is loud and rapid...chest moving up and down and I know I probably look like a mad man, staring at niall like he has answers to my problems.

Niall pulls me into a hug, and I tense up... cause I'm too scared I'll start crying If I feel any sort of comfort.

Niall whispers "I've got you"

And just like that, I wrap my arms around him. Resting all my weight on him. We fall onto the ground, still holding on to each other.

I cry for what feels like hours, until I can't cry anymore and my head is pounding.

"Headache" I say, my voice is wrecked.

Niall pulls me up, "Let's get you up, I'll get you some pills" he says, leading me to my bedroom.

I don't say anything, just let him guide me.

Niall gives me, pain killers and sleeping pills.

I woke up a few hours later, and it's dark outside. Niall is next to me playing a game on his phone.

"Hungry?" He asks without turning to look at me.

My throat feels like sand paper "Thirsty" I force out.

"There's a glass of water next to you"

Thank God for Niall, I think feeling relief after gulping the whole glass.

"Thank you" I say.

"No problem Mate"

"No I mean, thank you for being there for me."

"It's no problem, you're my best mate"

I pull my legs to my chest, suddenly feeling ashamed of how I've been ignoring Niall "I haven't been much of a friend lately"

"You were going through something, happens to the best of us. Just don't bring that Nick around here again. I hate his guts" niall says, still focused on his phone.

"Whaaa? But you guys are always laughing and teasing each other"

"Cause he's the only person you were talking to, I thought if you knew that I hated him. You might move out or something"

Guilt, it feels like it might just chock me.

"I...no...I wouldn't have, I'm sorry niall..I just..." I let out a defeated sigh, "I'm sorry, I just needed to be with someone who didn't know how much Louis meant to me. It made it easier to deal with everything. I could almost pretend that it didn't hurt"

Niall puts his phone down, "I'm not angry at you. I mean I was at first, I'm your best friend. Instead of leaning on me, you shut me out and I felt completely useless. But then I just, I realize you were dealing with it in your own way so I waited. I'm not angry, I'm just glad you're finally talking to me"

"Thank you niall"

"Mmmh, I've been sitting here watching you sleep for hours ...I feel like a creep and I'm starving... so up and at em... I want some pizza"

I chuckle, feeling my chest open up a little. "You were playing a game on your phone, that hardly counts as watching me sleep" I say following him out the bedroom.

"You're not that pretty"

I gasp, "you take that back right now"

He turns to look at me up and down, with a thoughtful look on his face. "No, I don't think I will"

I slap him playfully on the chest, "so we ordering or going out"

"Well... normally around this time your boy toy pulls up... and he's been calling insistently for the past hour .. so if we stay, I have to look at his mug face again. But if we go out, then I don't have to... " he lifts his left and right hand, as if weighing his options. But clearly leaning towards going out.

"I can call him and tell him not to come tonight"

Niall claps once, grinning "even better, I'll order some pizza and pick the movies we're watching"

I turn around on my way to my room, "movies?"

He stares at me, "Yes Harry movies, gotta make up for the past two months haven't we?"

I can't argue with that, so I call nick who was apparently on his way. Telling him I've got a movie night with just me and Niall, he's disappointed but well such is life isn't it.

I throw myself on Niall's bed, where he's focused on picking a movie on his laptop. "So what are we watching?"

"I'm thinking infinity war then end game?"

"Sounds good"

"Good, get the pizza"

"What, you get the pizza"

He gives me a look, that's clearly saying you've been a shit friend for two months get the pizza.

"You can't give me that look everytime you want me to do something" I say getting up.

He gives me a smug grin "We'll see"

I huff, checking If I've got any cash on me.