RIVALS (sukhoon)

Chapter 14

Jihoon's POV

"Good morning doctor." I said and the the psychologist smiled at me.

"Good morning, have a seat." I sat down and she smiled at me.

"Park Jihoon Jun, right?" She asked and I nodded.

"Okay. Mr Park. I'm doctor Roseanne. Just call me Rose though." She introduced.

"Nice to meet you. You can call me Jihoon."

"So what seems to be the problem." She asked.

"Well I was having some chest and lungs problems and I went for a check up but after a while, the doctor said I needed you, not them."

She raised her eyebrow at me.

"Okay, describe what you feel."

"Well, my heart really starts pounding very fast and painfully, then my lungs start constricting and suddenly I can't breathe anymore and it feels like I'm choking. Then I feel a bit light headed and fuzzy inside." I explained and she nodded with her bright smile.

"Okay, when have you experienced this?" She asked and I thought.

"Well the first time, I was with my friend, and I don't remember what happened but it suddenly started. Then the next time, I was with my friend and he hugged me and..."

"The same friend?" She asked and I nodded enthusiastically, eager to get to the bottom of my problems.

I continued talking about all the times I'd felt the ticklish pain and breathe limiting freedom.

"From all you've said, this happens when you're with that friend?" She asked and I nodded.

"What gender is that friend?" She asked and I was surprised.

Why did she need it?

"He's a boy." I replied and she nodded and wrote things down on her notebook.

"Can you describe him for me?" She asked and I nodded.

"We've been friends since childhood. He was a year older than me but he transferred to my school to be my classmate. He's always been there and he is so cool. He always listens to me and makes sure I'm safe. We did have some issues though. For two years, we had some misunderstanding and I guess I started hating him. Even though I was supposed to hate him, I couldn't really completely hate him."

She raised her eyebrow.

"What do you mean?" She asked and I just stared at her.

"Um, I saw some people talking shit about him and I just beat them up. I still kind of felt attached to him, even though we were arguing and now we're all good."

She sighed and looked at me.

"Have you ever dated anyone?" She asked.

"No. I spend most of my time with my friends and I've never really liked any girl before." I said.

"What do you think about the LGBTQ community?" She asked and I raised an eyebrow.

"Well I think all my friends are gay." I said laughing. "Except Haruto and Doyoung. Those two seem more of bi." I joked.

She laughed and shook her head.

"What about you. Are you gay?" She asked and I paused.

I didn't think I was.

"I don't think so." I said and she raised her eyebrow.

"What's your ideal type?" She asked and I paused and bit my lip.

"I guess I like someone who always takes care of me.  Someone who is funny and playful yet can be tough when the need be. I would like to be with someone who always loves me. No matter how absolutely annoying I may be, and I'm very annoying. I want someone who I can laugh with, who I'm not afraid to be weak with, someone who I can't lie to, no matter how hard I try. Someone who trusts me completely. Someone like that."

She nodded.

"When you were talking about all this, did anyone come to your mind?" She asked and I paused.

Yes actually.

Someone did.

However I'm confused.

Why did he match up to my ideal type.

Why didn't I ever notice that until someone else pointed it out?

My phone rang and I smiled at the caller ID.

Speak of the devil.

"You can answer that if you want." She said, writing something on the book.

"Hey Sukkie, why are you calling?" I asked.

"I was hungry and bored so I was wondering, if you're done with your doctor's appointment, can you come over to have a movie date with dinner. That is if you feel like it." He said.

I smiled even if he couldn't see it.

I missed us hanging out with each other.

"Sure Sukkie. Let me just finish here and I'll be there soon."

"Okay byyyyeee." He said and ended the call.

"May I ask who that was?" She asked and I nodded.

"Yeah, my friend. The one I have been talking about."

"I guessed right." She said and I looked at her in confusion.

"Your eyes lit up immediately you saw the call and you relaxed automatically. It seems like he makes you very comfortable."

"I guess. Yet recently, I've been feeling uncomfortable around him. But not in a bad way though. It's hard to explain but..."

"I get what you're saying. The heart and lungs thing."

I nodded.

"It's not a physical thing love. It's a psychological thing. Your heart is realizing he is more than a friend to you but since you're being oblivious, it's reacting in that manner."

I nodded.

"How then do I know for sure? How can I be sure it's because I like him?" I asked and she smiled and nodded at me.

"You're hanging out with him tonight aren't you, good. You just be around him and then you picture ask yourself the question of how you feel."

"What are the questions?" I asked and she smiled.

"Am I happy here? Am I different here? Then what would I feel if someone else is here? Can I be here for a long time?"

"When I answer them, what do I do?"

"Give me a call. Here is my number. I want you to call me when you're sure of your answers.
Okay?"

I nodded before standing up and bowing.

"Goodbye."

"I'll talk to you later Jihoon."

____________________________________

Hey guys. Chilli here.

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