Reasons

Chapter 9

TW: Attempted suicide, alcohol consumption, blood, self-harm

*Italicized- flashbacks

Note: Hi! I'm sorry it took me a long while to update this story. I had a hard time writing this chapter because it was really that challenging for me and I have never written anything like this before. Anyway, this chapter is going to alternate between the present and the past, so I hope you don't get confused with it. Happy reading!

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Jongho checked himself in the mirror, making sure that he was dressed comfortably and warmly for the cold weather before going out late at night. He's not going anywhere in particular other than the city's park. Just going out for a walk or maybe for a jog to tire himself a bit because he couldn't sleep. He exits his room and passes by his cousin and his boyfriend, who were watching a movie, at the living room.

"Jjong, where are you going? It's late..." Yunho asks him when he notices Jongho wearing his shoes by the foyer. Jongho doesn't usually go out late in the evening so seeing him dressed up, means something and it worries him.

"By the park, I can't sleep. Is it okay? I won't be out for too long...", the younger male said, standing up and dusting off his pants.

"It's okay, Jjong, just be safe. Message us when you're coming home cauze we're not sure if we'll be sleeping a little late or not, so yeah" Yunho says.

"Okay, hyung. Just clean up before I get home" Jongho says nonchalantly, and passes by them again to get the keys hanging near the service door at the kitchen and dining area.

A choking sound was heard, followed by water being spitted out, "WHAT?!" Mingi exclaimed and then started coughing while Yunho quickly patted his back.

"We're not going to— HEY!" Yunho says and grabs the throw pillow beside him to throw at his cousin.

"I didn't even specify and yet you're reacting? Dirty minds, you have hyungs" Jongho teases and quickly dodges the throw pillow thrown at him. "Bye Hyungs!" he says while laughing at his hyungs pink-flushed faces, and finally leaves the house.

It was a short drive going to the park, not more than 30 minutes from where he lives, but he still drove there at his own, cautious pace because he can't afford to get in an accident at this late night.

"Hey babe, do you think he's alright?" Mingi asked while grabbing the soda from the coffee table and taking a sip from it.

"I hope so, he usually joins us on our movie night when he can't sleep or pesters us to play video games with him... but this time–this time it's different and I'm starting to get worried..." Yunho answers as he plops beside him after getting the throw pillow. He was trying his best not to gnaw his lower lip and contemplating whether to call Jongho or send him a text.

Somehow reading his thoughts, Mingi wraps his arm around Yunho and pulls him closer until the older of the two rests his head on his shoulder, "Yunho-babe? Let's leave him for a while then we can call or text him after an hour to check on him, okay? Let's give him the space he needs", he tells him and kisses the top of his head.

"O-okay..." Yunho mumbles and buries his head on Mingi's neck and wraps his arms around his boyfriend's waist. "I'm just scared, Mingi. What if—"

"Yunho, that was 3 years ago and Jongho promised himself and us that he won't do it again. Please trust him, I'm worried too but we shouldn't push him into asking what's going on his mind, especially when he wants to be left alone for a while." Mingi tells him, massaging the back of Yunho's head softly.