Original Sin (MewGulf AU)

🌞Chapter 10🌻

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Finally Gulf's resistance broke down and he picked up the cordless telephone on his bedside table. He knew he was probably going to bother Mew, but he couldn't stop himself.

After the fourth ring, he heard Mew pick up. "Yes?"

"Um, it's me. Gulf."

"Oh, hello."

Was it Gulf's imagination that Mew's voice sounded ever so slightly more cheerful? Alone in his room, he flushed at the thought. Mew's deep voice was so gorgeous, winding reassuringly around Gulf's heart.

"What is it?"

"Uh, nothing. I was lonely," Gulf confessed, managing to expose his weakness much more easily than when they spoke face to face.

Gulf didn't know if 'lonely' was an accurate description of how he felt. Anxiety had simply caught hold of him, and he was scared that he might lose Mew eventually.

"Lonely? Then why not come here? Are you at work?"

"No, I'm at home. But that's not what I meant." Gulf stumbled to a halt. He felt lonely because he didn't feel like he had ever gotten hold of the thing he truly wanted.

What he wanted was Mew's heart. At Hayama, Mew had told that if he wanted his heart he could have it. But was the tenderness and love that cane from Mew's heart truly intended for Gulf? If Gulf asked Mew to indulge him, would Mew do it? No matter how much Gulf wanted to tell Mew about these muddled feelings, he didn't have the confidence to do it.

"Then I'll give you a charm to keep your loneliness away."

Gulf wanted to laugh hearing the word 'charm' coming from Mew. It didn't suit him at all. Just hearing the word had cheered Gulf up. That alone saved Gulf. He felt as if Mew had soothed him.

That was how be wanted to talk to Mew, pleasantly, sharing words, sharing their feelings, getting a little closer to understanding him. Gulf wanted to be sure that Mew loved him.

"What kind of charm?"

"It's a charm to help you sleep."

A gently moist sound trembled against Gulf's eardrum. Mew had kissed the mouthpiece. If it had been anyone else, Gulf would have found the gesture affected, but the thought Mew doing it warmed his heart. In that moment, his love for Mew was confirmed. How else could he have found such a thing endearing?

"Sir...I had no idea you were such a romantic."

"Is that bad?" Mew sounded miffed. It was cute. His gorgeous voice usually brought Gulf to his knees with its depth, but then, it was fraught with childishness.

"No, it's really, really good."

"That's what makes you so adorable." Mew's low voice set a thrill through Gulf's nerves and it poured out of the phone. "Would you like a reward before you go to sleep?"

"What do you mean?"

"I'm sure you don't like sleeping alone. So I'll make you feel better."

Gulf was shocked when he realized the implication of Mew's words. His heart was making a terrible noise.

"This is the part where you ask me how I'm going to make you feel better."

"Please be serious, Sir."

"But Gulf, all I want is to hear your adorable little voice."

Gulf could never help but be intoxicated by Mew's voice. When Mew whispered to him so sweetly, he felt his entire brain going numb.

Gulf gulped, feeling his heat rising slowly as his body reacted to the voice of the man he loved.

"You must realize how adorable your obedience is."

Gulf could feel Mew's words drawing the pleasure out of him. His flirtation, traced out in the unwavering sighs of his voice, threatened to cast Gulf into the depths of his desire.

"Touch yourself and then tell me you're not excited."

Gulf's heart beat faster at the sweetness of the invitation.

I can't do this. We're doing things Mew's way again!

Gulf summoned up his resolve and opened his mouth to interrupt. 'There's---There's something I wanted to talk to you about."

"Oh?" Mew's voice sounded immediately uninterested. "Well if you do what I told you, we can talk."

"But if I do what you tell me, I won't be able to talk. I don't want to do this right now."

"So what you're saying is you've done it with some other man?"

Gulf couldn't understand why that would be the first thing Mew asked him. He didn't want Mew to misunderstand his silence as he searched for an answer, so he shouted, "Of course not!"

"I can't believe that, considering how dirty you are."

Their conversation had been derailed so easily. Gulf felt like he was getting a headache. He wouldn't go after just anyone to satisfy the needs of his body. He wanted Mew, and only Mew. He loved only him. No one had ever been able to change Gulf's life except Mew. Without him there would never have been even the slightest tremor in Gulf's heart.

Gulf wanted to tell him that, but no matter how hard he tried, he felt like Mew never understood. He wanted more than Mew's body. He wanted his heart, too. But he didn't know if he was allowed to say something so selfish. But if all Mew wanted was a body, he didn't really need Gulf.

"That's enough. I'm sorry I bothered you so late at night."

Gulf said quickly and hung up. He flung the phone away and threw himself onto his bed. He sighed. So they were going to break up. Why did things always turn out badly? Mew hadn't made even the slightest effort to understand why Gulf was lonely. Mew didn't have to be nice to him all the time, Gulf just wanted to be recognized as a person. Even if his body was satisfied, his heart wasn't. He had told Mew that he wanted his heart, and he thought Mew had understood that. But the part Gulf played in Mew's life was insignificant. If someone other than Gulf offered their body to Mew, Gulf suspected he would follow his whims, and that would be the end of their relationship.

Gulf's body shuddered with those miserable thoughts. He shook his head. It wasn't going to work. He had to try harder and find a more fitting evaluation of Mew.

Gulf knew that compared to Mew he was boring in the extreme. He had been sickly and subdued ever since childhood and he couldn't remember ever making a selfish demand. Moreover, he had understood what a great burden his delicate health imposed on his family, so he had never been selfish enough to ask for anything more. Maybe that was why Gulf had trouble deciding when someone's request turned selfish.

He had no idea how to go about expressing his feelings to a person like Mew. Mew was arrogant enough to believe that he could manipulate people to do whatever he wanted. His personality and thinking were very different form Gulf's. It was mind-boggling trying to figure out how they could work out their problems and stay together.

TBC