Big fan (Book 3 scraps)

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Overview: Whilst hitching a ride back to the airport, y/n and John Walker have their first conversation.

A/N: This is set wayyyy before donut shop! My plan was going to be TFATWS, and then a time jump to Hawkeye-ish, but y/n isn't really involved in that. Hopefully that makes sense!

Word count: 1,328

Warnings: John Walker.

*****

"Is she always this icy..?"

*****

Y/n didn't want to climb onto that truck. Neither did Sam or Yelena, but they didn't have a choice. It was blisteringly hot outside, and their mission suits weren't exactly equipped for the heat.

Sam and Yelena had climbed onto the truck first, but y/n was deliberately being difficult. She was annoyed that John even had the shield, and that anger just continued to fester after Walker and his 'sidekick' swooped in and tried to save the day against the Flag Smashers. They lost miserably. It was embarrassing. He was no Captain America.

John's first mistake was holding a hand out to help the girls onto the truck. Yelena completely blanked it, clearing her throat as she made herself comfortable. However, y/n decided to take his hand. She didn't even make eye-contact, nor did she flinch when she heard John hiss and quickly yank his hand away. Y/n had mimicked her fire powers. Her hand was as hot as a piece of metal left out in the sun for too long. Not enough to burn, but enough to get her point across.

Y/n was currently sat opposite John. Not by choice, of course, but she'd wedged herself in between Yelena and Sam in an attempt to avoid him, but that didn't work. So, there she sat, staring idly off into the distance. She'd do anything not to look him in the eyes, his grating voice was enough.

Of course, to John - and his 'sidekick' who had introduced himself as Lamar Hoskins - it was extremely jarring. Y/n was always known as being high energy. Fun. Excitable. Impulsive, but not in a negative way. But that was all before Bucky died. She'd changed since then. She'd changed a lot. 

Y/n would do anything to avoid her thoughts, and that usually meant going clubbing with Yelena. Their neighbours in Budapest were used to hearing their laughter at stupid hours in the morning, or finding them passed out on the stairs the next day. It wasn't classy. It wasn't pretty. It was a slippery slope that y/n tumbled straight down after she left Wakanda. There was always something to drink, smoke, or sniff. That was the 'good' part about not being an Avenger anymore, there was nobody to hold her back.

*****

Yelena lifted her head up at John's question. She didn't want to, but he was talking about y/n when he was literally sat opposite the woman. Her stone-cold face didn't crack once, glaring into his eyes. It was funny watching his smile waver. "Only with people she doesn't like." Yelena hummed in a casual tone, not breaking eye contact once. If her best friend didn't like John, she didn't either.

John took a sharp breath, clearing his throat uncomfortably as he glanced away from Yelena and toward y/n. He forced a smile again, desperate to become friends with her and the rest of the team. It was almost like he didn't get the memo over y/n not liking him.

"It's kind of embarrassing to admit, y/n, but I'm a big fan." John said with a slight laugh, trying to lean his head into y/n's eyeline. "I have been for a long time-" He paused, noticing the orb of fire forming in her palm. He took a heavy breath, glancing around to see if anyone else had noticed, but they hadn't. "Look, I'm sorry about Bucky. I'm sure the shield meant a lot to him, but you can't just put me on blast. It's governmental property. It was offered to me. Who wouldn't pass up the opportunity to become Captain America, hm? That's like, every kid's dream!"

Y/n continued to stare off into the distance. A few blinks here and there, but the idle look on her face hadn't shifted at all. No smile, no scowl. Just a straight face. She knew that John was talking to her. Hell, she wanted to scream at him, but she didn't have good reason for it. He hadn't done anything wrong yet in the government's eyes. If y/n attacked, it'd be her fault, and she wasn't in the mood to become a global fugitive again.

John's smile started to wobble as he gained no response from y/n, or the other two that seemed to be listening in. He shifted in his seat, still trying to make eye contact with her. "Y'know what else is governmental property?" He asked like an annoying toddler. John waited for y/n to guess, but of course it was just an uncomfortable silence. "Your show!"

Y/n's head whipped in John's direction at the mention of her show. The sitcom she created in Westview, where she enslaved an entire town in a desperate attempt to keep Bucky. That show... was governmental property?

Y/n in the deepest pit of her grief was governmental property?

It was recorded and stored, and John had seen it?

Sam and Yelena didn't even know about her show, and this stranger had?

The utter shock that was racing through y/n's brain was immense. She didn't even know what to say. That was supposed to be deleted. Scrubbed from the earth. It didn't matter if the episodes were deemed as joyful and sweet. That was y/n grieving. That was her lying and using all of her power to practically revive her dead lover. None of it was real. None of it was happy. She couldn't even watch sitcoms anymore without breaking down.

Somehow, John didn't seem to notice that he'd just revealed some pretty confidential information. He just kept talking. "It was great! The way you mixed different eras, the way you were undercover in a town, it was a masterpiece. Truly." He gushed, thinking that if he praised her, he'd get a smile. "Ugh, and all the references to the real world? Bucky being a shoemaker because your dad was one? So smart."

Y/n felt sick.

Most of the 'easter eggs' had been created by her subconscious in an attempt to cope, not to display her attention to detail.

Sam and Yelena were both staring at her with wide eyes. They had no idea what John was talking about. They wanted to know what John was talking about. Hell, of all people, they should've been the ones to know, not him. But it wasn't exactly a thing that y/n wanted to openly talk about.

"Stop the car." Y/n snapped toward the driver, yet her voice was far quieter than she expected. She felt vulnerable. Exposed. Naked. She had never thought that her show would ever be mentioned again. It wasn't supposed to be mentioned again. She couldn't listen to his voice any longer. "Stop the car!" Y/n yelled, not even seemed to flinch when the car screeched to a stop.

She ignored every single voice on the tuck as she stood up and hopped off of the back. Y/n didn't care if Yelena and Sam followed her, she just had to get off of that truck. She had to get off of that truck before John triggered that horrible time again. The poor girl had worked so hard to get through it, and she'd do anything and everything to stop it from getting unearthed.

Yelena and Sam rushed after y/n as she stormed down a dirt road, almost needing to jog to catch up. They were as confused as each other, but a reaction like this was never good. Sam knew that. "What was he talking about?" Yelena asked once they caught up, slightly out of breath.

"I don't know. Probably an old Hydra show." Y/n lied through her teeth, swallowing hard to try and shove down the lump in her throat. "But I'm not letting him talk about my life like he's a friend of mine. He knows nothing about me."

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