Sun/Moon x Y/N

Memories

   Soft scented soap drips down my body as I clean myself off, rhythmically moving the sponge on my shoulder, the hot water soothing my aching muscles. I wash the soap off and move on to washing the rest of the conditioner out of my hair, my fingertips massaging my scalp as I finish up in the shower. I grab my towel and dry off the best I can before hopping out. Shivering as the cold air hits my warm skin, I walk into my bedroom, grabbing the pajamas I had thrown onto the bed. I pull on the soft shorts and the t-shirt, throwing my hair up into a messy bun as I walk out into the daycare, and I start cleaning up for tomorrow, when the kids would return. Plushies into the basket. Paints into the drawer. Crayons in the blue tub. Markers in the purple. I move quickly, my mind drifting as I throw everything into their proper places. Wincing, I pull a plastic block out from under my foot, the sharp corner breaking the skin and drawing a tiny drop of blood.

  Blood.

  I can smell it. I can taste it. That day, in the underground, with Chica. And Monty. And . . . the security guard. They said her name was Vanessa. I didn't even know her. I killed her. I killed her. I'm a murderer. What I did to her . . . how could I. I'm a monster. How could anyone do that . . .

  The string of thoughts continues to unreel from my brain, eventually travelling down and squeezing my heart and lungs. It hurts. I can't breathe. I gasp for air, the edges of my vision turning black.

 Murderer.

  Murderer.

 Murderer.

  Murderer.

  "Murderer . . ." I wheeze out the word, gasping for the oxygen lost with the word. Sunny runs over, worry filling his bright blue eyes.

  "Hey, y/n, y/n, you okay? What's wrong?" Sunny frets, crouching down in front of me, making sure we were eye to eye. I look up, his eyes piercing my soul.

  "I killed her, Sunny. I killed that woman," I look away, guilt consuming my mind. "I didn't even know her, but now she's dead, and it's all my fault." The last four words force everything I had been pushing down to resurface. Everything with Moon, Monty, Vanessa, everything. I had killed. I almost caused Moon to die. "I am a disaster for everyone around me. It's almost like it would be better if I didn't exist." Sun grabs my hands, I had started to pick my skin off without even realizing.

  "Sunshine." Sunny grabs my chin and forces me to look at him. "You had to, okay? You would be dead. Moon wasn't your fault; I should have never said that. Don't you ever say that it would be better if you didn't exist. You've given me a new purpose. You've helped Moon, almost no one could even approach him before. Even though I don't care for Monty, I can see you've helped him too, just by being a friend. I'm so sorry that you feel that way, Y/n. No one should ever have to, but I hope that I can do something for you in turn, and help you fight those feelings." Sunny lets go of my chin and instead moves to gently holding my cheek in his hand. "Please don't leave us, sunshine." 

  A lump forms in my throat, blocking my voice from escaping, the inly thing I can to is pull Sunny into a hug, before bursting out into tears. I bury my face into the ruffles around his neck, attempting to muffle my sobs. he wraps his arms around me in response, holding me tight, not saying a word, just sitting with me as I let my emotions out. 

  "Thank you, Sunny," I smile, standing up and wiping my eyes, forcing the memories back down into the recesses of my brain. I'll deal with them another day. Moon jumps out of the tower, landing gracefully, and waves at us as he starts to clean up. Ugh, this daycare is a mess. Sunny, Moon, and I all spend hours cleaning, the daycare finally looking presentable. I glance up at the clock. 3:00 AM. I put my hand over my mouth, attempting to hide a yawn. Suddenly, I feel something touching my shoulder, breaking me out of my exhausted trance. I jump from the unexpected contact.