Kokoro (A Shourtney/Shartney Fanfic)

Four

I pulled my arm off of my eyes and the morning light blinded me. The clock read "8:43", I was gonna be late if I stayed in bed any longer. Normally I'm awake before this but...I couldn't sleep.

"...You can't tell me you don't at least have feelings for him." Her words echoed through my mind like a recording on repeat.

"Is she right?" I thought aloud. "No...no, she's wrong. I'm just feeling a little lonely is all. No feelings."

I decided to actually get up after a few minutes of laying in my bed. I got ready for the day and made it to work a little later than usual but not too bad.

"Hey, Court," Shayne appeared suddenly behind me, startling me a bit.

"A little warning next time, Dude," I said.

"Sorry, sorry. So, what's up with you being late?" He asked.

"Well, I wasn't able to sleep last night because I was kept awake thinking about y...um..." Crap. What do I say to him? It's not like I can tell him I was thinking about him. "Uh...yoyos"

Courtney, what the fuck.

"Yoyos, huh?" He laughed. "Must've been scary. Well, at least you weren't as late as some people have been lately."

"Yeah, I guess."

"Hey! Courtney!" Saige waved to me as she and Damien walked out of the set room. "What're you guys up to over here?"

"Nothing much," Shayne said. "Just talking about Courtney's new fear of yoyos"

"Let's drop that conversation," I sighed. "What are we filming today?"

"Well, first we've got to film a Try Not to Laugh. There's other stuff too but I forgot," Damien said.

"How did you forget?"

"Didn't look."

"Ah."

"Well, I think I'll go find out," Shayne laughed. He and Damien walked away together goofing off.

"So, uh, yoyos, Court?" Saige asked.

"I don't have a fear of yoyos, Saige. I got nervous and misspoke," I replied. "Thank you very much by the way."

"For what?"

"For telling me that crap about having feelings for Shayne. That's ACTUALLY what kept me up last night. You filled my head with that weird stuff and I started thinking about him the whole time."

"You know what that means, don't you?"

"That I got no sleep."

"Well, yes, that. But also, you're starting to realize that you do in fact have feelings for Shayne," she put her hands on my shoulders. "It's romance, sweetheart. Trust me, I know. I managed to snatch Damien in a very similar way."

"Yeah? I mean, I suppose it would make sense but here's the thing, Shayne and I are like best friends. If I really DO have feelings, it would ruin everything we've built up over the last seven years."

"It wouldn't ruin everything. You guys got close because of the seven years of friendship. I think that's a good base, you know?"

"Do I?"

"Courtney, there you are," Ian approached the two of us. "We're going to start filming soon and we need you on the TNTL set."

"Oh, right. I'm right behind you," I said. I started to follow Ian but Saige stopped me.

"Just think about it, okay?" She asked with a smile.

"Uh...sure."

We all began to film the video and all I could think about was the previous conversation. I couldn't stop thinking about it. And the fact that the main subject of the conversation was there with me. After we finished filming, I stayed behind and sat alone on the stool.

"Ah jeez," I sighed. "I haven't been in this situation since 2015. How the hell did I get over this the first time?"

I started thinking back to then, back when I first started at Smosh. For a few months, I had a crush on Shayne which, honestly, makes sense considering who he is. He was a nice guy, cute, funny and the guy who made me feel confident after my audition when I was freaking out. I realized quickly that we wouldn't be anymore than friends both because our friendship was too great and the contract but that was a pretty big reason honestly.

How did I get over it? I dated. It was effective and I very quickly got over that small elementary school crush. It was for the better too. We became best friends. Now things are...weird again. So then, what should I do? Maybe...maybe I should date again.

"What're you up to?" Shayne's voice startled me yet again. He walked towards me and stood in front of the props. "It's not everyday that I find you sitting alone on set."

"It's nothing," I said. "I just needed some time alone is all. It's been a...pretty interesting day."

"It's only 11:30."

"Fine. Morning. Either way, it's been interesting."

"Anything you want to talk to me about? I'll help as much as I can. Unless, of course, it's about the yoyos from before. They scare me too."

I laughed at his comment and smacked his muscly arm, "thanks, but I'll be fine."

"Okay, well, I'll be around the office all day like you so if you ever change your mind, come find me, okay?"

"You got it. Thank you, Shania."

"No problem," he said with a smile. That smile, I don't know what it was, but it made me flutter. God, maybe Saige was right. I watched as he walked away and out of the room.

"It's gonna take a LOT of dates to get over him."