Kokoro (A Shourtney/Shartney Fanfic)

Fourteen

"Alright, you guys, we're done for the day," Ian said as he entered the room. We were all sitting around on our laptops and chatting amongst ourselves. "See you Monday morning."

We all split up after that. I started walking out of the office behind Shayne, Damien and Saige who were laughing together.

"Well, we'll see you guys tomorrow," Damien grabbed Saige's hand as they exited the building and started making their way towards his car. "Oh, and, good luck with your date tonight, Shayne."

"Thanks, man," he waved to them as they left. I managed to forget he had a date until now.

"Thanks a lot, Damien..." I mumbled to myself.

"Well, I better get going," Shayne patted my shoulder as he flipped his keys in his hand. "I've got a date to get ready for. See you later, Court."

"Shayne, I..." I started to speak but his words from the other night sprang back into my mind. I wanted to tell him how I felt. Maybe it'd stop him from going on that date but...then I'd feel like shit for that, wouldn't I?

"What is it?" He asked.

"Nothing...nothing at all," I replied, placing a fake smile on my face as I looked at him. "I just wanted to tell you good luck too. I'm...glad you found yourself a date."

"Thanks. It really means a lot," he smiled widely but I couldn't look at him. "See you Monday!"

I watched as he walked off and towards his car. I gripped the laptop I held against my chest and sighed heavily, jumping slightly at the small rumble of thunder emanating from the darkened clouds. I was already feeling gloomy enough so I guess it was only a matter of time.

Once I got home, I flopped onto the couch face first. I didn't feel like moving, not even when either of my cats brushed up against my arm that hung off the side.

"Not right now, babies," I mumbled into the cushion. "Mommy's not in the mood."

Cats are smarter than we think. Both of them could tell I was down and kept my company the whole time I laid on the couch. They felt bad for me. Either that or they were just begging for attention. Even still, I was happy to have them with me.

After a few hours of laying around on the couch watching movies, I decided to finally get up. It looked like the storm had blown over a bit, a light drizzle making its presence on my windows.

"Alright, I guess I shouldn't mope around forever, huh?" I asked my cats. Neither of them answer which made sense but it still felt rude. "Okay you're really not helping. You know what? Maybe I just need a walk. Yeah, that sounds good."

I began a small walk down the sidewalk to clear my head but...well...it didn't really work. My mind kept getting bombarded with Shayne, both the thought of us being together and the thought of him being with his date. Either way it didn't help but for different reasons obviously.

I hadn't realized how long I walked until I found myself standing outside of a restaurant a few blocks from where I lived.

"Damn, when you're lost in thought, you really don't pay much attention, do you?"

At that moment, I stopped dead in my tracks once I saw him. Shayne. He was sitting on a bench outside of the restaurant by himself, he seemed upset. Should I go over there? No, what if he thinks I'm stalking him? That would make me look kinda weird.

Suddenly, my phone started ringing in my pocket. I quickly pulled it out to stop it but it slipped from my hands. I tried catching it several times but ended up failing and watched as it fell to the ground beneath me.

"Courtney?"

I froze in place and slowly turned my head. Shayne was looking up at me with a confused expression on his face. I quickly fixed myself and tried to act nonchalant. It...didn't work.

"Oh, hey, fancy seeing you here," I nervously bounced my heels with my hands in my pockets. "Is this where you took that date of yours?"

"Well, uh, about that..." his tone changed quickly. I looked up at him and noticed he seemed more upset.

"Shayne? What's wrong?"

"It's...well...I kinda got stood up," he sighed, slumping back into the bench.

"What?"

"Yeah. I've been waiting here for her to show up but...she never did. Didn't even text me to tell me or anything," he kept glancing upwards and exhaling. It was the thing he always did to stop himself from crying.

I hadn't even realized how quickly I walked over towards him and joined him on the bench, my arms around him to bring him into a comforting hug. He didn't move.

"Shayne that's...that's awful," I said to him. "She was stupid to stand you up like this. She doesn't know what she's missing out on."

"You know, I really liked her too," he said. "We talked a lot until yesterday. I thought we had something pretty good but...I guess not. I thought that maybe...maybe I could have that closeness that I wanted."

"She just wasn't the right person for you. You can still have that closeness, you know? There are plenty of people who would LOVE to have that closeness with you. You're Shayne freakin' Topp."

"Thank you, Courtney," he let out a small chuckle. Seeing his smile, even if only for a moment, made me feel a little better. "I'm glad you happened to conveniently walk by."

"Yeah. Thank God for that one," I said.

"You know, maybe this was just a sign," he sighed. "Maybe I'm just not ready to date yet. I guess I still need more time?"

"No!" I quickly let go of him after realizing my outburst. "I-I mean...it was just a one time thing! It doesn't mean you should give up hope altogether!"

"You really think so?"

"I...look, I just think that there's still someone out there for you. What happens if you wait? You might miss them."

"You make a good point, I guess," he pulled his back from the bench and stretched it. "Though, gotta be honest, finding someone who wants the same thing as me will be tough."

"Well, maybe it won't be so tough."

"What do you mean?"

"I-I...well...what if you've already found them? I mean, they could be a lot closer than you think."

I hadn't realized our closeness before. We were eye to eye, looking directly at each other. Everything seemed to slow down around us as I got lost in his eyes.

"Yeah?"

"Yeah."

Our faces moved closer and closer. Could this be it? Am I going to kiss him? Is it finally going to happen for real?

"Thanks for that, Courtney," he quickly moved his head away to face ahead of us. I quietly groaned at the disappointing outcome as he stood up and took a deep breath. "I can always count on you to help me out of tough times, you know that?"

"Yeah?" I asked, attempting to mask my disappointment. It didn't work.

"Yeah! Come on, let's get out of here. You need a ride back to your place?" He asked, holding out his hand for me. I looked up at him and then at his hand.

"I wouldn't mind it," I put my hand in his and he helped me up. We both got into his car and he drove me back to my place, only the radio filling the silence between us.

God, I know that was an emotional moment but COME ON!