Kokoro (A Shourtney/Shartney Fanfic)

Eighteen (Courtney's POV)

He's in love with someone. He HAS to be. Why else would he ask me that question? The worst part is that it's not even me. I knew accepting these feelings would be stupid yet I let myself. God, what was I thinking?

"Hey, Courtney," Olivia sat down next to me on the couch. She made me bounce a little as she plopped herself down. "So, what do you think?"

"About?" I asked, confused by her question.

"The Smosh Prom idea," she replied. "I think it's really cool and honestly really nice of Ian considering the boys' incomplete high school years."

"Oh, yeah, totally."

"So, since it's prom, you know what happens, don't you?"

"People spike the punch and have sex under the bleachers?"

"Well, yeah, but I mean people bring dates! You could ask Shayne to be your date!" She excitedly said to me.

"I...I don't know. He's gonna reject me, Olivia. He's...in love with someone else. He's going to ask them instead." I felt myself dipping further into sadness as I imagined him walking into the office with another girl wrapped around his arm.

"He is? How do you know?"

"He asked me before about being in love with a friend and asked me how I'd deal with it. Don't you think that's obvious?"

"Did he mention names?"

"No."

"It could be you he was talking about, you know. You ARE his friend too."

"It just...it doesn't make sense. Why would he be talking about me? He doesn't see me that way. All he sees is me, Courtney Miller, his platonic best friend."

"Damien is his platonic best friend too! Don't you realize the difference between your relationships?"

"Uh...no?"

"They're just friends who like to goof off and make fun of each other. When it comes to you, Shayne is nothing but sweet and caring. I see a sparkle in his eyes whenever you walk in the room that I've NEVER seen for anyone else before."

"I-I...Olivia it's...not..." I could feel myself tearing up. She quickly wrapped her arms around me.

"I know it doesn't seem like it, Courtney, but I know you two are destined to be together," she said, rubbing her hand up and down my back for comfort. "Take the risk, ask him to the prom and you'll see."

Maybe she's right. Maybe I should just go for it. Though, my fears keep creeping up and stopping me. I want to be with him, to be held by him...and kiss him. I want...I want Shayne.

"I...you're right." I pulled away from the hug and smiled a bit. "I'll do it. I'll...I'll ask him."

"Really? I'm so proud of you. You're going to see just how worth it asking him to this prom will be," she said with a smile.

Later that day, I stood by myself in the shower staring down at my bare feet. The water was warm and hit my head with a soothing pattern.

While I stood there, I got to thinking about asking Shayne to be my date. I want it, I do. I'm not considering stepping away and not asking him...that much anyway. As I consider it, I begin to think about what it'd be like to date him for real. He's a sweet and caring guy, even when we're not together. Can you imagine how he'd be with me if I was his girlfriend? Just imagining it makes me blush and smile.

I'm going to do it. I've got to.

With a towel wrapped around my body and my hair dripping onto my bare shoulders, I sat on the edge of my bed looking down at my phone. His contact stared up at me through the screen as I thought about what to say.

Courtney - Hey, dude. Wassup?

Hell no. I deleted what I wrote and tried again.

Courtney - Shayne, my guy!

This may be more difficult than I thought. I fell back onto my bed and stared up at the ceiling. What am I going to do? I can't even think of a greeting over text. I paced around the room a few times, grabbed my phone to text and immediately blanked on what to say. I went through the same process a few times before slumping on the floor with my arms on my bed staring at the phone that laid face up on my sheets.

"Come on, Courtney," I said to myself. "It's not that hard. Just ask him to be your date to the prom. It's easy but...why can't I do it?"

I felt fur rub against my bare leg and looked to see Bones rubbing up against me. I sighed watching that cat purr and look up at me, clearly begging for food.

"You know what, Bones? Maybe I shouldn't ask him over text," I sat on the floor and let Bones lay in my lap. "Don't you agree? I mean, it just feels silly to ask him out like this."

...why am I talking to a cat about my problems?

The next day, I sat at my desk writing on my laptop when Shayne peeked over, throwing a ball of paper at my head.

"Can I help you?" I asked. He just laughed at me as I smiled and threw the paper ball away.

"You can help me actually," he said. "So, about the Smosh Prom..."

"Did Ian decide on the decorations?" I asked. He put me and a few others on decorations since I was a good artist and was feeling creative.

"No...uh, well, I don't know actually. That's not my area of expertise," he shrugged. "Actually, I wanted to ask you about going to the prom."

"G...going to the...? What do you mean?" I could feel my face burning up and my nerves spike.

"Yeah. So, I've never been to a prom before and I don't really know what it's about, you know? Though Damien says I should have a date to it."

"Oh, well, I'm sure someone could go with you," I said. "I mean, Jackie would probably agree. Or, you know, maybe even Ian would?"

"Well, I was actually wondering if maybe you'd want to be my date."

"M-me? Your date?" My heart was beating so loud, I'm surprised he didn't hear it. I couldn't find the words but I wanted to, I needed to.

"Yeah. But, like, if you don't want to I won't be offended-"

"No! I...I'd love to," I managed to say.

"Awesome!" He said with a smile. "I'll let you get back to work. I've got to talk with Patrick about something I wrote anyway. Later, date."

"S-see you..." I waved to him as he walked off. As soon as he did, my brain caught up to what I'd just been asked and I hopped out of my chair with a face as red as a tomato. He...he asked me to be his date! What does this mean? WHAT DOES THIS MEAN!?