Dreams Are Not Reality

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June 1st , 1997

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June 1st , 1997

Imanis POV

I wanted to break someone's jaw- that's how I felt. It had been years since I'd experienced anger like this. What I've been doing in my time, recently, is releasing everything on my punching bag. Healthy, right? It wasn't doing much good for me, in the long run I still felt violent. I kept punching that bag, anyways.

"Dam, you gonna beat a hole into that bag, mani!" Alexis could be heard in the kitchen rambling through my cabinets. "Yooo, you want these chips? Cause I'm pretty hungry right now." Alexis grabbed the bag of potato chips before even hearing my answer. "Take em!" I responded quickly so she could leave me alone. It would seem, Alexis invited herself to my home. I wasn't necessarily mad at her but that doesn't mean I wanted to be bothered. Throughout her visit I maintained my focus on the bag.

Imani got comfortable on the couch. " Look, everyone's asking for you and wants to know if you are going to even come back to rehearsals." I rolled my eyes as the punches increased. I didn't want to be bothered with anything surrounding that shit show. "Alexis, how many times do I have to tell you I have no desire to be apart of that shit. I'm done and I'm not going on tour with that bitch!" Alexis eyebrows rose, as a surprised expression covered her face. "Dang, she gotta be a bitch?" I was getting annoyed by the second.

I stopped punching for a moment and took a sip of water. " I'm not even sure you're fully aware of what has happened between us, lexi. You've only seen public incidents." I sat on the couch to collected my breath. " Noooooo!!! T told me everything! Why you think I'm here? I'm your homegirl, Imani." She pulled out a blunt and proceeded to smoke it. "You know... I don't really feel like discussing this shit right now." I warned Alexis because I didn't want a situation to escalate between us. She didn't do anything to me, however I isolated myself from everyone for a reason.

"Look, you really can't be missing all these days. Janet might fire yo ass, and you should come back because this stuff ain't no reason to make you miss an opportunity, Imani." I took time to assess what Alexis was saying, and see if anything resonated with me. None of what she said had moved me enough to consider going back. " Nahhhh- you know I think it's time for you to go. I appreciate your gesture and I know your heart may be in the right place, but please give me this alone time. I'm really angry right now and I don't want to hurt nobody." Alexis took heed to the request and gathered her things to go.

I worked my hardest not to say anything in a rude tone, but I had to let her know the real. " I feel it, mani. I just hope everything works out for you and you find some peace." She grabbed her car keys. "Please don't hesitate to call me- imma be your little spy at these rehearsals and get the inside scoop." I giggled a little bit because, in this moment, what I needed was someone trustworthy and who was willing to stick by my side. Someone to be a shoulder to cry on. Someone who was completely here for me and had no hidden agendas.

I walked over to the front door, letting Alexis out. " I appreciate you, Alexis. You're the realest!" We met for a hug and Alexis gave me a kiss on the forehead. "I'm gangsta but I'm still filled with affection!" We both laughed. "You're so crazy, get out of here!" I jokingly yelled as I closed the door.

I was alone, finally! I grabbed me a cup, some wine, and turned on some jams!

Later on...

Imani was on her fifth cup of red wine. She was feeling on the edge and free, nothing was out of reach to her. She grabbed the house phone, near the couch she resided on and began to dial. "Maybe, she'll answer." Imanis words slurred together. Moments of hearing the phone ringing- it finally stopped.

"Hello?" a soft voice picked up . "Janet right?" Imani leaned over on the couch "Yes, I know this is you Imani-" Janet could hardly finish before Imani started screaming through the phone. "Janet, it's really fuck you because you put me through hell. All I was willing to do was show you love and give myself to you. But you ain't shit! You never was and you never will be bitch!" Imani started laughing uncontrollably. Janet was completely silent- she was shocked at Imanis little rant. " Fuck you bitch- I'm about to go dance!" Imani finished up.

"Imani, I'm actually near your place. I'm going to come over alright?" Imani attention was elsewhere. "Yeaaa... whatever hoe!" Imani hung up the phone and proceeded to dance around her living room.

It seemed like only 5 minutes had passed when actually it had been 30 minutes. There was a knock on the door. Imani stumbled over, and there stood Janet.

"Heyyyyy!!!!!" Imani fell into Janet's arms. You would've thought she didn't just curse her out and they were on the best of terms. Janet just went with it, embracing her back. Imani quickly got back to her dancing, leaving Janet to grab a glass of wine on her own. That one glass turned into... five more. Not much conversation was being had between the two- just dancing. They were in the same room but their own worlds. They danced consistently for about an hour, before crashing on the couch.

They sat silently before they're hands started to rub against each other's. Their heartbeats became in sync. " I don't want to live without you, locs." Janet cuddled Imani. "I need you!" Janet confessed as she ran her fingers through Imanis hair and kissing her cheek. Imani felt valued and cared for. Something she so often made other people feel, but rarely had someone make her feel that way.

Imani looked Janet in the eyes and attempted to respond to her but nothing was coming out. She continued to try and push the words out but with every try Janet seemed to fade away. It wasn't long before she was completely gone and Imani jumped up.

After looking around for a moment she realized she had been dreaming this whole time- Janet was never there. It was all in her mind. Imani felt heat across her body. She was hurt by reality. She stood up and threw the wine glass across the room at full force. Tears rolled down her face. " Never fucking with that bitch ever again!" She mumbled as she made her way upstairs.






WHEW WHAT YALL THINKING!!!!! HOPE YALL ENJOYED IT!!!!!

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