Watch Your Step

𝐃𝐫𝐲 𝐃𝐫𝐞𝐚𝐦𝐬 𝟑

On his way home Limuel saw his neighbor, Ms. Kim, who's twenty-five years younger than him. She was wearing a purple uniform of either a flight attendant or a saleslady and she was handing a flier about volunteering. He remembered the time when he was the one who was handing fliers of his missing wife, so he took an interest in what she's endorsing. It was in this way that he also got to know a free counseling on weekends two weeks ago with a 'licensed' psychiatrist. It turned out that Ms. Kim's flier was about an outreach program for children who survived the bombings and shootings. He examined the flier, then the hopeful look on Mrs. Kim's face, and said he'd volunteer.

"Thank you, Mr. Brenner!" Ms. Kim said. "It would be a great help if more of us helped." He felt like he had no choice but to give in and that he couldn't say no. And truthfully, it was not in his nature to offer others help without taking something in return.

The night came and as much as he could, he opened his eyes until they burned. At first, there wasn't much change but the pill he drank must have taken effect. He hydrated himself, tucked his shirt in, lay on his side, and delve into a distant dream. Where he's in a carousel...in a mall...Where...where am I? He asked himself. It was an old memory of him in a mall, the ride stopped but he didn't want to get off. A woman wearing a white dress called to him. Her hair was jet-black and it was covering most of her face. "The ride is over, Lim, let's go home." From her voice, he knew it was his mother and she lent her hand to Limuel but he fought the impulse to take it.

But on a balcony behind his mother, a man floating in the air loomed in the background. A familiar-looking man, (or was it a man?) with an elegant brown suit, but has hooves instead of shoes. Limuel didn't see his face because he seemed to be wrapped in a shawl or he was wearing a hat with horns. When Limuel looked at his mother again, what he saw was a grotesque face of an old lady, with white hair and saggy skin. She pointed at him who's still sitting and holding on to the pole skewered at the horse and she opened her mouth with rotting yellow teeth. In a rattling voice, she said, "You're next."

This time when he woke up, Limuel could remember it. No, Ma would never say that, he said to himself. She's the one who always assured me. I would never see her as a monster like in that dream. Limuel remembered when he was a kid, he fell from the lavatory while he was playing and toppled the rice his mother was about to cook. She didn't scold him, instead, she had him help her pick up the grains of rice one by one and her mother would always say huwag magsasayang ng grasya. Don't waste food as it is grace from God.

"And we should always be thankful."

"To whom?"

"To our grace and your guardian angel for saving you from that fall." But he thought it was out of fear of his strict grandfather that they picked all the grains of rice. And now that he's old and tested by a life full of irony, Limuel deemed as if he has nothing to be thankful for.