«chapter thirty-nine: waking up»

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NIGHTWING'S POV

Artemis and M'gann start crying. They are the first to react. Then Conner. Conner who, I can tell, heard her heart stop.

Cass looks at me with a blank, almost lost expression. Damian's holds pure anger. Tim and Katie are clinging to each other, their heads buried in the other's shoulder. Barbara stares at the door, her fists clenched so tight her knuckles are ghost white. Jake moves away from us, unable to look at the door. He crouches down, his head in his hands.

Wally and Conner both try to comfort Artemis and M'gann, but I see tears in their own eyes. They are both barely holding it together as both girls turn to hug them.

Jason doesn't look up from his spot, his eyes trained on the floor, tension in his jaw and fists.

My eyes go to Bruce. His shoulders are tense as he watches the door. Shouting from the doctor can be heard. They are trying to bring her back.

I can't take it.

I turn and walk away from everyone. I don't know where I am going but I need to go.

I end up in one of the spare rooms in the hospital wing. True to Kaldur's word, no one else is in here. No one else is even on this floor.

I close the door behind me, and feels like my head is breaking through the surface of water. My emotions slam into me and I can't breathe.

My chest heaves in pain as I try to piece together what is happening.

I walk to the bed and sit down, doubling over, my fingers pulling at my hair.

This can't be real. This can't be real.

I can't take it. My body is practically buzzing with energy. I can't do this. I can't work through this the way I should be able to. I can't stand out there like Bruce and be the strong one.

I pick up a chair and throw it hard at the wall. It leaves a dent in the metal. I turn to grab something else, or maybe use my fists if I can't find anything, but a voice stops me.

"I have to pay for whatever you break, please remember that," Bruce says behind me, stepping into the room.

I look over at him, and it's only then that I realize tears have been falling down my face.

"Sorry," I say flatly, "But I don't give a shit about money right now."

Bruce doesn't say anything about that comment. He only looks at me with concern he is trying really hard to hide.

"She will make it," He says after a moment, and I hear a small falter in his words. The only thing giving away how much this is affecting him.

"You don't know that," I spit out, anger flaring up in me, "Where were you?" I hiss out, stepping closer to him, "Gotham is your city," I push him before I even realize I have lifted my hands.

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