Ethan And Life

Chapter 8

The next week dragged on. Ethan continued barely being able to get of bed in the mornings. It was becoming harder and harder for Ethan to keep his emotions inside. He could barely hold it together in public anymore. Most days his emotions would burst out, and he'd break down crying, sometimes in school, especially when he was being teased or bullied, which caused him to start being bullied more. "If you think you're a boy, why are you crying like a girl?"

He was so relieved when Saturday rolled around.

He arrived at Chloe's house after several people were already there. Chloe was there of course, and Ryan, and a few kids he didn't know well. There weren't a lot of people, but since Chloe's house was pretty small, it was still crowded. It seemed like a pretty toned-down party, and it didn't have any of the features of parties that his mom had always told him about: red cups of alcohol in everyone's hand, everyone smoking weed and who knows what else and offering it to everyone, and couples having sex in front of everyone else. All that was happening in this party was very laid back, friendly, and normal. People were chatting, there were snacks and cake, and Chloe was playing some upbeat pop music.

"Hey Ethan! You came!" Chloe cried out, grinning.

"Of course I did," Ethan replied, smiling back at her. He hadn't been feeling very good lately, but Chloe was so full of energy and excitement that he couldn't help but smile.

Ryan walked up. He had slicked his hair back and was wearing a blue sweater that contrasted with his olive skin and made him look really good. "Ethan! I'm kind of surprised your mom let you go."

"Me too. I managed to convince her to let me go."

"Hey Ryan, who's this girl– or boy? You're talking to ?" a tall girl with brown hair in a ponytail asked. Ethan had never seen her before.

Ethan was uncomfortable, but he had gotten used to people stumbling over their words in trying to guess what his gender was. He passed reasonably well, but since he was pre-T, he couldn't really blame people who thought that he was a girl when they first saw him.

"This is my friend, Ethan," Ryan said. "Ethan, this is my cousin, Olivia. She goes to a different school."

"Hey, Olivia." Ethan waved slightly.

Olivia smirked at Ethan, "Hey. You're cute."

"Um... thanks." Ethan replied awkwardly. Was she flirting with him? She was pretty, but not his type. Whatever his type was.

Ryan laughed awkwardly. "Don't you have a boyfriend, Olivia?"

"No," she said. Her tone suddenly changed. She sounded more reserved.

"What about Mark? I thought you'd been dating for a few months," Ryan said.

"Nope. We broke up."

"Why? Did you guys fight?" Ryan raised his eyebrow.

"I don't want to talk about it," was all Olivia said.

"Oh," Ryan said. "Sorry."

After that, everyone went their own ways. Everyone except Ethan and Ryan. They remained standing in the corner of Chloe's living room"

"Don't you have something better to do than stand here with me?" Ethan asked. Surely an extroverted, charming guy like Ryan had plenty of better people to talk to at a party than a socially awkward trans guy who was too scared to leave the corner.

Ryan chuckled and put his arm over Ethan's shoulder. "Come on. You're my friend; I'm allowed to spend time with you, right?"

Ethan nodded slowly as he looked away. He felt his heart rate pick up as he noticed how close Ryan's body was to his. Why did this feel so intimate? He tried hard to calm his racing pulse by looking away from Ryan's deep brown eyes, but instead his gaze drifted downwards and met Ryan's lips. His heart skipped a beat. What was going on? Why was he getting this intense feeling? 

Ethan moved away, clearing his throat. "Uh, I'm going to go talk to Chloe," he muttered, face on fire. He rushed off before Ryan could reply.