Nicknames

Chapter 34 ~ Leave

The second I wake up, I pull out of Carter's arms despite his protests. It's 7 in the morning and our flight leaves at 11. Today I will be the person that gets there 3 hours early for their flight if it means getting out of this place. I wish I could say this didn't happen every time I came home. It did, just in a words left unsaid type of way. I think Carter being here made those unspoken words speak on both sides. And now they float in the air waiting to pierce me and cut deep. But I won't let them.

After brushing my teeth and washing my face, then fixing my hair and getting dressed, I lay out clothes for Carter and then pack up the bag that he packed. When I'm finished I head downstairs to make a quick breakfast to find my mother already in the kitchen cooking.

"Hey, sweetie! I hope you didn't think you could sneak off without breakfast," she scolds me slightly.

Shaking my head, I sit down at the counter and watch her like I would when I was younger. "I would never do that Mama."

A silence floats between us and just like always I can sense my mom wants to say something. After a minute she opens her mouth and words I never thought I would ever hear slip through. "I'm sorry," she whispers.

I know what she's sorry for, it's in her voice. She's sorry for everything. Tears rush to the surface as emotions overwhelm me. I've been secretly wanting this for way too long. I could never understand how a mother took another man's side over her own child. I never understood why she didn't stick up for me or look out for me. Why would she push me states away from my brothers and sisters because of a man? Why was I never good enough? Why was I the one she was ashamed of?

I never understood.

My mother's arms wrap around me and she pulls me to her the way my father would when I was younger. "I should've stuck up for you, baby. I should've spoken up, I should've done so much more than what I did. I'm so sorry for sending you away, but you have to understand. Your father threatened me for full custody after I married Raymond. He said he didn't like him and wanted him nowhere near you."

I pull back and look at her.

"Raymond found out about it and he and your father got into some very heated arguments and he started taking his anger out on you. So I gave you to your father...Then he passed—"

I pull away from her, wiping away my tears.

"When you came back I should've looked out for you. I should've done better. I can't take back what I did or didn't do baby and I'm so sorry you had to go through that at such a young age. And I'm sorry that I still haven't said anything until now."

I take another step back. She's known she was in the wrong this whole time, yet still chose her husband.

"I'm glad you sent me to Dad," I answer with too much bite in my tone. "Staying with Dad were the best years of my life and I wish he was still alive so bad. I rather spend every holiday with him, than spend it here. I rather be with him than be here. Now I know why Dad divorced you. You and that man you call your husband deserve each other."

I turn to go when I spot Carter. I want to run, but the look in his eyes isn't the one I want to see right now. He's telling me to stay. I don't want to stay, I don't want to think, I don't want to be here anymore.

I stare at Carter, begging him to change his mind. I want him to hold his arms open and tell me we can go. He doesn't. Instead, the look stays.

Dropping my head I look down at my feet. "You knew all this time how he was treating me, Mom. Why was I the child you loved less? Why didn't you stick up for me? How did you love that man more than you loved me?"

"Luna I'm so, so sorry baby and I'll make it up any way I can."

I shake my head and look up to Carter to find the stare still on his face, but I'm done. I'm so done.

Heading for the stairs, I'm stopped by Carter grabbing my arm, but I quickly shove him off.

"Luna..."

He follows me up the stairs and into our room, closing the door behind him. Not right now, Carter, please. He takes my wrist and runs his fingers over my racing pulses.

"Luna come on. Don't do this," he whispers.

What the fuck!

With as much force as I could muster I shove him back so he would get my fucking anger. "Don't be a fucking hypocrite right now! I just need time Carter."

He barely moved before, but this time he steps back and gives me my space. I fall to my knees. Sobs take over my body as I give out one last "please" while my pain threatens to swallow me whole.

He falls next to me, pulling me into his arms and holding me tightly, somehow managing to take away some of the pain in my chest. "I'll give you all the time you need. I'll give you everything you need."

I clutch his shirt and hold him tightly. He returns the actions, rubbing my back until I've let out all my tears onto his shirt.

"I've been terrible, haven't I?" I whisper as he leans against the bed and adjusts me in his lap.

"No."

He wipes my tears and kisses my lips.

"I have and I'm sorry, you should've been mine two years ago."

A smirk rises on his lips and he places another kiss on my lips. "Either one of us could've initiated contact."

I laugh at his choice of words as I curl into him.

"How about we just stop and get breakfast before heading to the airport?" He suggests, kissing the side of my neck. "That way we can get out of here and get home."

Smiling I look into Carter's gorgeous eyes. How can you not love him? I nod in agreement and he smiles softly as he picks me up and then stands to his feet.

"Go clean up then we will head out."

I listen going to the bathroom and looking in the mirror to see my puffy eyes and nose. Quickly I wash my face and freshen up before stepping back out to where Carter has changed his shirt.

"Let's get out of here, my little teddy Graham."

"I want to be mad at that one, but I can't be."

He chuckles and takes my hand, guiding me out. We walk down the stairs past my family and straight for the door where Carter stops. "Thank you guys for having us. It was a pleasure meeting you all, but Luna and I do have to go now."

"Your flight isn't until 11. It's 8," Mama interjects. "Just stay, please. A few minutes longer."

She looks at me pleading for the answer to be yes, Carter looks at me letting me know that the decision is mine.

Sighing, I give in and nod to my mom. Carter sets the bag by the door and follows me to the dining room.

"Thank you," Mama whispers softly as we all sit at the table with the rest of my family.

Carter wraps his arm around my chair. We eat as they talk. I don't have anything to say to them right now and thankfully my mom doesn't push. I think she's happy as it is that I stayed for breakfast. But the second it's over, I stand to my feet and pull Carter with me.

"We have to go...I'll see you guys next time." I have nothing more to say. I'm not Carter I can't give fake pleasantries right now. And if I keep talking I won't be nice, so instead, I bite my tongue.

Carter once again says goodbye and follows me to the door where he grabs the bag and we finally leave. When I get in the car, I let out a breath of relief and turn to my handsome boyfriend. I feel the weight leave my shoulders as we pull out of the driveway.