A Clown's Adoration

1

"Freak Show" - The Cog is Dead

tw/cw for kidnapping and sex trafficking

clowns. coulrophobia, a fear many people are aware of. seeing a clown can cause panic and nausea for those who actually have it. white painted faces, big toothy grins, and popping balloons. nobody liked clowns.

except you. you had always loved clowns. they were a comfort in your childhood. when you could hear the yelling through your thin walls, you'd hold your doll a little tighter. you had painted its face with red, naming it clown-boy. you missed that doll every once in a while.

you had a clown at nearly every birthday party, up until your parents said you were too old before turning 9. it had saddened you but you didn't wanna anger the people who raised you. you painted your own face for the first time that year.

maybe that's why you never had friends growing up. or maybe it was because of your unnatural height. by 4th grade you were already 5'4, with a good 10 or so more years of potential growth room. your parents were a bit anxious about this, worried it may be harmful for your health.

the doctors told them not to worry, due to the nature of your quirk. this was bound to happen, considering you had the ability to defy logic and bend it however you wanted. they predicted you would stop growing around 6th grade.

they were wrong. by 6th grade, you were 5'10, and by 7th, you were 6'2. your quirk sure was a mystery. you were an enigma to every person in your classes, the way your wide eyes always stared almost through them. you weren't bullied, at least not to your face.

your little sister died when you were in 8th grade due to her heart condition. her last words to you were over the phone, telling you, "become a hero, i've never seen a clown themed one!". you decided, since you didn't have anything else that interested you, you would become a hero.

and become a hero you did. you trained hard, ignoring everyone, mourning your own way. a few people tried to befriend you, but failed due to your closed off nature. you always wished them well when they would finally gave up.

when it comes to your hero costume, you wanted to do a ballgown jester esque outfit. you were drawing it and writing the details when you finally realized that it wouldn't be very helpful during fights. you scrapped that idea quickly, thought about a skin tight leotard harley quinn inspired costume, before settling on diamond print overalls, a poet shirt, ruffle collar, a pair of flats, gloves, and an expressionless, white mask with eye holes and red blush. as you grew older, you added support items that fit.

despite being anti-social, you were still cooperative during group activities for school. you were good at listening, and you could help with ideas for plans just fine. you always passed those parts at least. your classmates viewed you positively in that aspect.

your mother was arrested when you in 10th grade. she had been a villain even before getting with your father, causing the man heartbreak. he now has trust issues and hasn't remarried since she went to jail. you were never told what she had done, but you assumed it was something truly horrible to have caused a reaction like that in your father, one of the most forgiving people you had ever known.

you graduated easily, being at the top of your class due to your strength and ability to recover so quick. you gave a speech to the best of your ability, hands shaking the entire time. your father was apparently proud, considering how tight he hugged you. it was the first time he said the words that you so desperately needed. a day after graduating, you attempted to visit your mother.