Family first

33. Silence

I woke up late today, I actually didn't want to even wake up. The boys probably left a long time ago, I don't even feel like doing anything today. I got up and sorted myself out before going back to the room, I looked through the window and at the sky. It was so nice and blue, I miss being outside without someone fearing that I will run or something else. I looked at the ground, and I saw very far back Jax and Zayn walking down the hill until I could no longer see them

"I thought they worked closer," I mumbled to myself

I took a seat on the bed and wanted to continue reading Annabelle's diary, which I did. There were more things about her life that happened, stuff like how Zayn grew up without knowing he had a twin

------
It's been a year, I think. I have no track of time
living in this place, I did find one of Shaun's books
That has a calendar. It's July

I'm currently pregnant with my 5th child
Even though 2 of my children are dead, I
Still think of them being my babies. I just
Hope this one is a boy so I don't lose him/her

...

I gave birth and it is a boy, his name is Jaxson
My last baby..

________

"Last baby? What did she mean by the last baby?" I questioned

She couldn't have kids after Jax. Was Annabelle sick? Wait, Zayn was born in December, but Jax was born in July. Annabelle was sick, and Jax was premature

What type of sickness did Annabelle have?

________
Every day, I felt worse and worse, but
Never understood why I felt like that.
Shaun wanted 4 sons, but I couldn't give
him that

It finally caught up with me, my family
Sickness. My granny, my mother, and now
Me. It was only the females in the house who
Got the sickness, moments like this. I'm glad
I have sons

________

Family sickness?

So I was right, but I didn't know what it was. I read a few more pages, but skipping some that was just about her normal days or time with Shaun and the family but then came across this interesting one. It was recent before she passed on

_______

I should've written this down sooner
It would've been easier to get this off my chest
The reason I have this scar on my stomach
I don't regret getting it, though

Zayn and Michael were in the house that day
The rest of the boys went out to get meat
Someone broke in and tried to hurt them

If it's to protect them, I'll do it

________

Do what? What did she do? How did she get that scar?

________

It's been a while, Shaun still doesn't know how
I got the scar. I won't tell him
Zayn saved me that day. He killed the person
But there was this look in his eyes that
I have never seen it before

Zayn has a very dangerous side that he
Hides, Zayn's strength is unbelievable
No wonder why he chose not to kill,
Or was it actually that reason

--

Zayn knows he knows everything, but he
Won't say anything. I know that for sure
I also know that Zayn won't stay in
This family for long. Once he gets his girl
He already made plans to leave with her.
He doesn't believe in this family's tradition,
That's why Shaun thinks of him as a disappointment

_______

Zayn wants to leave? Is that why he asked to run away? Suddenly, the front door opened, scaring me out of my thoughts. I didn't clean or eat or make anything for them to eat. I might get punished for it, but I don't care anymore. They took my child away from me