Ailwéns Story

Normality

Barnes woke to a cold empty bed as dawn broke. He sighed as he saw Ailwén had moved herself to the sofa staring out of the window looking drawn and tired.
"Hey Doll it's really early come back to bed" he groaned moving the covers and she hung her head shaking it slightly. What ever Rumalow had done to her during her captivity had broken her and Barnes wasn't sure how they could repair it.

"Why are we doing this?" Ailwén whined as Barnes lead her through the trees towards the lake. He has dragged her out before breakfast claiming she would enjoy it. Wearing a heavy backpack she had found herself hiking into the Forest uphill to one of the few vistas she knew of surrounding the new compound. A while later Bucky stopped and sat down on a large rock.
"Coffee?" He asked and wordlessly she nodded. Laughing he opened her backpack and produced a large flask and a packet of breakfast burritos.
"This is why we had to walk so fast I wanted mine still warm" he explained as she wordlessly accepted the foil pack. "Sit, eat and enjoy the view" he instructed and Ailwén did as she was told. Watching in awe as the sun rose in the distance bathing them in sunlight instantly changing the temperature.
"I see you die." She swallowed. "Every night I see you and Steve lying dead on a floor somewhere and my hands are covered in blood" she blurted out. "He's there just watching in that stupid skull mask of his and I don't know if he's killed you or I have."
"Won't be you" Barnes reasoned casually, chewing his breakfast. "That's against the rules you agreed to for our hunt." Swallowing he took another bite before adding "No serious injury or death remember Doll?" Ailwén looked at him wordlessly and nodded. Those rules had been set nearly a year ago and they technically still hadn't finished the game. As she thought about it her heart started to hammer and she found for some reason she couldn't catch her breath. Suddenly Bucky was in front of her holding her shaking hands and telling her to breathe. When the panic attack finished he looked sorrowfully at the burrito she had dropped and said he wasn't sharing his causing her to smile slightly and for a moment she wondered if things were ever going to be ok.

"But that's miles away" Barton laughed when Ailwén told him how far she had walked that morning.
"I know" she groaned her legs aching still.
"And your training this afternoon and I think I've found you someone you won't be able to hurt". Ailwén looked up suddenly interested. Because of the super soldier serum the only people she could train with safely were Rogers and Barnes and both had an inbuilt dislike for hitting a girl and she had the slight problem of seeing them dead on the floor in her dreams.

As Ailwén walked onto the training mats she saw Clint was talking to a tall slim but toned dark haired man wearing green leather who she didn't recognise.
"Hey Ailwén this is Loki and he has offered to spar with you this afternoon. You won't hurt him"
"Really?" She replied raising an eyebrow.
"Well I am a god darling" he drawled studying her closely as he began to circle her. Moments later he punched her squarely in the face and Ailwén smiled. An hour later she was aching and covered in sweat but refusing to give up she planned to get this man on his back if it killed her. As she reached for him again he simply moved out of her way so quickly she didn't see it and she found herself hitting the mat hard.
"Did that help loosen up that pent up aggression love?" He asked offered her a hand to pull her up.
"Thank you it's nice to spar with someone who doesn't mind hitting back" she admitted honestly.
"When I'm here we can spar and I'll sets you some exercises to help improve your strength" he began
"I don't think I need any help with that" she interrupted smiling sadly and Loki looked deep into her eyes and his next comment scared her slightly as he stared at her with a burning intensity as he painfully gripped her arms.
"There will always be someone smarter than you, stronger than you and more angry than you. You just need to know how to deal with any of them" he growled and was gone.

Once again Ailwén found herself wandering down the corridor it's lighting changed to red in the distance she could see the bodies waiting for her but this time Loki was standing in the corridor leaning on the wall.
"Dream walker" he informed her as she reached him. He joined her walking down the corridor to where Barnes and Rogers lay waiting for her. "None of this is real you know that" he informed her crouching down to touch Barnes and his hand moved straight through him showing her it was an illusion. "This is your dream you should be able to control it. Shall we start with getting rid of this red light?" He smiled.

"Are you sure this is a good idea?" Banner asked as he watched Ailwén fighting with Loki so far she had had to visit the medical bay with cracked ribs and more seriously a broken arm. She certainly was fighting as hard as him having caused him to need to see Bruce once. As they watched she changed tactics and for the first time she managed to get Loki off of his feet.
"Nice" Barton clapped and moved to help him up as Ailwén lent on her knees breathing hard
"I am so unfit" she grumbled staggering to one side and collapsing on the bench.
"Still got shrapnel wounds kid" Barnes reminded her leaning next to her and passing her a bottle of water.
"Still got to be able to fight" She sighed standing up and heading for the showers.'

As she was rinsing her hair a metal hand came through the curtain holding a towel. "Starks having a party starts in ten minutes go get a dress on.
By the time Ailwén has dried her hair and dressed she was quite late she also hadn't put a dress in instead she had put in her skintight black leather trousers and a green t shirt that was slightly too tight across her chest. The sash in it allowing the curve of her breasts to show. Dresses were not her thing.

Quietly she wandered through the crowds accepting an offered glass of champagne, avoiding people she vaguely knew choosing to head for a quiet corner where no one was sitting. Moments after she sat down one of Tony's more drunk guests came stumbling in demanding she join him on the dance floor. He simply grabbed her wrist and pulled and Ailwén found herself trying to fight off his hands as they tried to grab her hips and breasts. Without thinking she went to punch him and a strong hand stopped her.
"Calm down" Lokis voice hissed "If you hit him like that you will kill him." Shrugging Ailwén freed her hand and bitch slapped him instead causing him to fall to the floor. Instantly Loki took a tight grip on her arm and dragged her onto the balcony. "Remember I said to you about there always will be someone angrier than you, stronger than you? Tonight dear that's you. These people are insects compared to you. Do not let them provoke you." He growled. As he spoke Loki took a tight grip on her neck forcing her to look at him. "Your not going mad your just not like them anymore." Tears started to fill her eyes and she shook her head.
"I'm a mess" she swallowed. "If I'm not sitting crying I'm hurting someone and I don't know how to do this." She confessed. "I used to be able to do anything I wanted now I jump at shadows and I'm too scared to even let people touch me"
"You ok out here doll?" Barnes voice asked from the dark and they turned to see him sitting in the corner with a glass of whiskey. Ailwén shook her head and he patted the seat next to him.
"I'll get the drink" Loki muttered conjouring up two more glasses and a bottle of whiskey.
"Thank you" she swallowed as he passed her the glass and filled all three glasses.
"Now we just have to hope Nat doesn't find us" Barnes sighed and Loki smirked and waved a hand. As they sat there Natasha Romanoff came out onto the balcony and grinning Loki raised a finger to his lips as she looked right at them and then simply left.
"A quiet night for the three of us it is" Loki smirked.

"So she's been hanging out with Barnes and Loki?" Steve Rogers repeated Starks statement as they watched Ailwén attending a knife practice session with a small group of trainees Barnes was teaching the highly dubious art of catching a blade that had been thrown at them.
"Seems she's found people she doesn't panic around or cry around. So that's good isn't it?" Rogers slowly shrugged. Barnes he would trust with his life but Loki?

"A date?" Ailwén stared at Barnes blankly.
"Yes he's really nice. Been asking about you" Barnes encouraged and she shrugged. "Works as a volunteer at the VA with Sam"
"So you don't actually know him Sam does" she queried and Barnes nodded enthusiastically. "James." Ailwén sighed "the last date you set me up in he got drunk and I had to carry him up three flights of stairs and dump him in his mothers doorstep. So it's a no from me". With that she walked away shaking her head.
"He wants to see that film you were talking about" Barnes called after her.
"I'll wait until it's on line" she muttered and continued walking.