sometimes rain, sometimes rainbow - poetry collection

lost

i've been trying to find myself in others
and i think i'm finally getting somewhere.
i've never been one to deal
well with the temporary nature
of relationships,
but i think i'm maturing;
learning to enjoy what comes my way
without latching to a perceived
expiration date.
but i still find myself fixated on the future,
not so much as before,
where i wouldn't allow myself to enjoy
the present,
but still wondering if what i'm building
is worth it,
if im not certain i'll reap happiness
tangible enough to last me a few days.
i know losing myself would be easier,
painless,
but i can't open the next chapter of my life
with a scattered foundation.