Loving The Swan

Ride Into Enchantment

E: I walked into the house and found the thickest jeans and tightest long sleeve i could find, i throw on my jacket and some boots and meet Regina outside. "Wow Gina you really clean up nicely." "Swan, don't call me that, he does, and its called makeup and a good riding outfit." shes on the most beautiful brown horse and following on a lead behind her is the most gorgeous white horse i have ever seen. "This is milk, and the one i'm on's name is honey." "How poetic. does it symbolize anything." I said implying that she named the based off the Rupi Kaur book. "No, I know what you think, why do you think its okay to constantly, consistently, keep prying into private details of my life. Plus even if i did name them after the book don't pretend to understand it." Her expression goes cold. "Regina, i didn't mean to open a can of worms with you, if you don't want to do this its fine. You don't have to pretend to like me." She rolls her eyes and looks down at me. "Swan get your ass on this horse or god forbid me..." "okay, okay." I jump up, of course with a bit of struggle. She gets off Honey and grabs my waist. I turn around and our eyes meet for a second and she rolls her eyes "Geez swan don't make this so melodramatic I'm just helping you up that's all." she lifts me and i make it on the horse safely and she just hops right onto hers. "okay now you need to pay attention because if you don't someone can end up hurt." we start off by trotting through the small amount of woods we have. The further we went the more colder it got. "Regina, should we head back now? Its nearly night won't Daniel be back soon." "Daniel gets off work at five swan, its nearly seven, if Daniel was coming home today he would've been home way before we left." "So he just gets to decide when he comes home and when he doesn't." she nods. "Regina that's so screwed up." i suddenly felt a drop of water fall onto the top my forehead and seconds later a crash of thunder startled the horses. Regina had control of hers but Milk on the other hand took off faster than you could say help. I panicked but decided staying calm might benefit me more than anything so i held on and yelled out help. I looked back and saw Regina racing towards me. I felt embarrassed almost but on the bright side at least she knew all her training was working because we had to have been going at least forty miles per hour. "Sit up swan. i'm coming in hot." i sit up and no later than five seconds i was off the horse and dangling from the side of Regina's. Milk took off before she could get her. "I'll help you look for her." she pulled me up and i rode on the back of honey gripping onto Regina's body. "I'm sorry Swan, its my fault, i should've prepared you more, but i also didn't expect rain." "Regina stop doing that. Stop blaming yourself when bad things happen. Not every bad thing involving you is because of you. I don't care how much you say you're the villain. You are not." "Swan, stop acting like some like you know me." I felt her take a deep inhale. "You're right i don't know you, so let me get to know you better." "Swan, everyone who's ever gotten to know me has hurt me of left me, why would you be any different." I thought to myself, what if shes right what if i end up leaving. The truth is i'm probably no better than any of her other friends. "The truth is Regina, I have no idea. I cant promise you i'm not going to leave or hurt you because i'm impulsive, i make decisions on feelings rather than thoughts, and I've had no guidance in life whatsoever, so no i don't know if i'm any different from anyone else, but what i do know is while i'm here, while i'm present, i'm not going to hurt you the way they hurt you, i'm not going to leave you the way they left you. You're just going to have to trust me." "you know Emma, nothing about the way i was treated every seemed alarming till you came around." "That's a good thing Regina. You pretend that everything is okay but we both know you have pain and guilt more deeper than any of us could ever explain." I bury my head into the space between her scapula's.

The rain poured harder and looking for Milk became a little more intense. Regina stopped and hopped off. She sat under a tree with her knees up to her chest. "Regina whats going on?" I sat by her and placed my hand on her knee. "I'm just so lost Emma." "Regina if you're worried about finding your horse we can always look again in the morning." "No Emma, they always come back, i'm lost. I don't know who i am anymore. I use to have dreams and goals but now i'm just lost." I move her head gently to look at her in her eyes. "People are gonna tell you who you are your whole life, you just gotta punch back and say no, this is who i am. You want things to change? you'll have to go out there and change them yourself because there are no fairy godmothers in this world. Now tell about those dreams and goals." She wipes the tears away from her face and smiles softly. "When i was younger i wanted to be a Para-Equestrian coach because i use to do it and then get married and have a son named after my father. My mother crushed those dreams when she became Mayor. She wanted me to fit into her perfect little box of a daughter, one day she caught me kiss one of the other equestrian girls at a competition and she pulled me out, moved addresses, and seriously considered sending me to a conversion camp. Life with her was hell." "Damn Regina... Have you ever caught a break." she turned and looked into my eyes and her eyes lingered there for a few minutes. I looked down at her lips and examined the femininity throughout her face and all i could wonder was who would want to hurt such a beautiful thing. she places her hand on my cheek and pulls me in slowly. I closed my eyes and before our lips met Milk came speeding past us. Regina Hopped on Honey and grabbed me up and we chased her into the stable. She got off her horse and closed the doors to the stables. "well wasn't that quite the adventure Swan." I was still trying to process everything that almost happened in the woods so it took me a few minutes to come around. "Swan? You Good?" "Oh my bad Regina i was just thinking." she walks me to my door. "Do you mind if i come in for a while?" "nope, make yourself at home." I walk to the bedroom to change out of my clothes and put on something a little more comfortable. Regina sat on the couch waiting for me to come back. I touch up my hair and bring out a towel for Regina because shes dripping wet. "Emma, what happened back there was a heat of the moment thing. Thank god nothing happened because that would have been one more guilty action on my plate." "yeah, i agree it was nothing." Although i didn't really agree. Truth is i hoped it was more than nothing, i wanted it to be more than the moment but i'm also glad nothing happened because although i feel like my soul has lived a lifetime with her, I've only known this woman for a little more than three days now. "Is that what you wanted to come in for?" I asked politely. "Oh no, I came in to share that bottle of wine you have, do you mind if i shower as well?" "I did say make yourself at home... Although i don't know why you can't do this at home given Daniels not there." "Home doesn't feel safe to me, with or without him. every corner is a memory flooding my consciousness. when i can get away i do." I walked into the room and bought out an old shirt and jeans and handed them to her. "Feel free to use whatever soaps you want, I have a wide variety." she giggled and made her way to the shower. I made a simple dinner of spaghetti and poured the red wine into both glasses and placed it on the table. I turned on some mellow music and sat there thinking while drinking waiting for her to come out. A few minuets later she came out and sat down. I got to really examine her. The bruises around her neck were bad, it seemed like she had some indication of abuse on every part of her body that she's been covering with makeup. "Regina, you have to get help." she looked away and down. "Emma stop bringing it up, seeing it on my body already doesn't make me feel good and you looking at me like i'm some helpless victim doesn't make it better." "Regina you know you need help, You know you need to leave him before you get married." she looks at me with a deep sadness in her eyes. "There's a difference between knowing something and not wanting to admit it. Just leave it alone Swan before you make things worse." "Okay Regina i will stop bringing it up but i will not stop worrying about you." Our eyes met with that same gaze. I cant help but feel like i'm shooting blanks here though. I feel like i'm putting in effort into something that's never going to happen. She eats her spaghetti and i sit back in my chair drinking my wine again wondering about how someone can destroy something so beautiful. Daniel has a Diamond and yet he continues to chip it away and if he keeps going the diamond will break. I'm so worried about the diamond breaking.

We finished out food and wine and Regina was visibly tired. I mean of course she was with the day she had. You can see the exhaustion in her eyes day in and day out but she somehow seems to always have a smile when shes out and about and i don't know how she does it but i find beauty in her and in her eyes. I want to hold the pain in between my fingers and watch it spill from the cracks. She deserves so much more than the crappy situations shes been in and i could tell her that all i want but unless she sees it nothing is ever going to change. I want her to get some rest so I decide to head to bed earlier than i usually would just for her sake. "I'm heading to bed Regina, Feel free to stay and watch tv or leave. Your choice." "If you don't mind i'm gonna stay." She walks over to the couch and lays down. I walk to the room and close my door. I grab my laptop and search up different ways to help someone in a domestic violence situation. About and hour later i hear a knock on my bed room door and i assume its Regina coming to tell me shes going home so I close my laptop and walk over. I open it and Regina is standing there violently shaking and crying. "Woah Regina whats wrong." She comes in and looks me dead in my eyes. "I'm so tired Emma, i don't know how much longer i can do this." i grab her and place her on the bed. "Sleep here tonight Regina, I'll set an alarm for five am so you could get there before Daniel." I wiped her eyes and kneeled down. "Why are you doing this?" she asked. "You said you wanted to know more of my story, i'll read a little more to you. You keep telling me i don't understand which is correct, I've never had a partner abuse me but i was in and out of foster homes and I've been beat in almost every single one. I was raped in four of the seven. I only had one good foster home and in fact they almost adopted me but then the father got in a life altering accident and no longer wanted me. I've never felt peace growing up, hell i barely feel peace now but you know what gets me through it... the fact i can still feel, because feeling means i still got a lot more love to spare. Just like you have a lot more love to spare. I've pushed away everyone I've ever loved but the fact i can still love speaks so much volume to me and that's what i do to stay sane. I love, I care, and I help. sleep with me Regina, Let me keep you safe for the time being." she let a smile spill from her lips. I got up and she got into bed and so did I. I set my phone alarm for five am and then i got under the blankets and slowly drifted to sleep. I felt an arm lay across my body and pull me in. Regina pressed her body against the curves of mine and slowly we both went to sleep.