Leavitt Stafford and the Awful, Terrible, Not Very Nice Plan.

Chapter the Fifteenth: Concoctions of Cocaine

Leavitt had had a most fraught, taxing morning. Firstly, he had to escape from the presence of Marjorie as he journeyed towards the church, which had been so difficult that, only once he had arrived and everybody had seated themselves, he had to produce the untruth, which is now surely familiar to this tale, of him requiring the usage of the lavatory. But, rather than using the lavatory, he instead dashed away from the church and returned home, and he climbed through his bedroom window, donned his elaborate feminine disguise, and leapt out again. He prayed that nobody had noticed, though he could feel a certain pair of eyes burning into the back of his head as he made his escape. God would be most displeased, but Leavitt could feel the danger increasing to a shocking extent!

As Leavitt continued his journey away from the unlawful florist and towards home, he began to muse to himself, and his mind wandered towards the nature of medicines. Leavitt believed many medicines to not only be dreadfully ineffectual, but also thoroughly perilous! After all, was it not peculiar just how many individuals with a mere cough would become addicted to the medicines which they had been prescribed, thus causing them more ailments than they had suffered from at the time of their medicines being prescribed? There were many treacherous medicinal concoctions, but there was one ingredient in particular which Leavitt was certain was responsible for the addictions and deaths of many ailing persons, and that ingredient was cocaine.

As Leavitt would observe those provided with medicines which contained cocaine, he would notice that many of the ailing persons would begin to complain of transient paranoia, the feeling that their hearts were galloping away, and even suddenly being seized by the Devil, though many believed such frightful effects to be a mere worsening of their original ailments. As the afflicted persons were seized by the Devil, some would convulse upon the floor, and fall into transports of rage. And not only would the medicines in which cocaine was an ingredient cause the ailing to suffer from a proneness to the horrors of Gehenna, but, should the person to whom the medicine was prescribed continue to take the medicine (which many indeed would, for addiction to medicines in which cocaine was an ingredient was dreadfully common), the ailing individual may suddenly fall to the ground and perish!

Leavitt had many a time attempted to inform Rupert of his suspicions regarding the harrowing effects of medicines containing cocaine, but Rupert had dismissed the horrors which would befall those who took the medicine as divine judgment. This was nonsense! Many god-fearing men would find themselves subjected to such dreadful occurrences, and why would God cast such severe judgment upon such men?

As Leavitt pondered such things, he came to a sudden conclusion: he must procure the medicinal concoctions which contained cocaine and distil them so as to obtain a greater concentration of cocaine, and then he must make use of the distillate in order to produce concoctions which contained yet more cocaine! And, after he had done so, he would return the cocaine concoctions to the pharmacy, and then the ailing would sacrifice their lives for the greater good! Not only would he be thieving and deceiving, but he would also be committing murder! If that did not attract the attention of God, then he hadn't the faintest idea what would!

Unfortunately (or, rather, fortunately), as Leavitt considered how such atrocities could be committed, he encountered several difficulties in his mind.

Firstly were the particulars of how he would obtain the medicines without attracting the attention of anybody who may carry the perils of retribution, and thus sentence him to hanging. He could keep to the shadows, and then he must replace the medicine with his more potent concoctions expeditiously! But how would he disguise the absence of the bottles which he had used to produce such potent concoctions? Such things relied upon the pharmacy possessing a surplus of medicine, and Leavitt hadn't the faintest idea how much medicine the pharmacy contained.