Behind Closed Doors

04 - don't say that

Hazel's POV:

I walk into the apartment and see Natalia on the couch with my roommates. And there's some other bitch who I'm guessing is Elizabeth here too.

"Hi lover girl!! How was your date?!" Alyssa says jumping up and hugging me. I turn on the lights and reveal my tear-stained face. She gasps.

"What happened?!" That line catches the attention of everyone else. Everyone's looking at me. Again.

"I'm stupid is what happened. I read everything wrong. She has a girlfriend! Named fucking Daisy!! Daisy and Rosie are you fucking kidding me?!" I shout.

"That's her fault! She didn't tell you earlier!" Zoey says.

"No! It's my fault I should've known! I'm an idiot! I made a complete fool of myself twice today!" I say.

"You saved a woman's life today, Hazel. And so what you raised your voice. Who cares? They'll just remember you as the badass who saved a woman!" Natalia says.

"No they won't! I'm a fucking fool!" I sob before going into my room. I get in the shower and turn it way too hot.

So hot the smoke detector started going off. Which means the sprinklers are gonna go off.

"No!! No no no no no!!" I shout standing up. I wrap a towel around myself and run out the bathroom.

It's ruined.

"FUCK!!" I shout.

"Hazel open the door!" Alyssa shouts pounding on it.
I open it and collapse sobbing in her arms.

"I am literally going to kill myself, Alyssa!" I sob.
"It's ruined!" I say.

"What's ruined, darling?" She asks.

"The drawing! That I was making for my mom! It's ruined! I've been working on it for weeks!"

"I'd kill myself too," she says holding me tighter. She closes the door and gets me dressed.

"Come on. You can sleep in Zo's room she won't mind."

"She'll beat my ass."

"She'll have to deal with me. Do you need your penguin?" I nod, and she hands me my penguin stuffed animal. My dad used to buy me one every year.

He bought me 50 fucking more before he died. My mother mails them to me every year on my birthday. Each one has a note.

"Zoey she's sleeping in your room," Lyss says.

"We have a guest room," she says.

"Zoey, she is sleeping in your fucking room," she repeats.

"Okay. Okay. She just doesn't like it in there. She says it smells like weed all the time," she says.
"I just want her to be comfortable.."

"I am literally right here," I say.

"Also you may wanna hide all things sharp for the next week," I say going into her room.

"Zoey oh my GOD!!" I shout.

"This is why I recommended the guest room!" She says.

"I'm just gonna kill myself and I'll be out in a damn casket to sleep then!" I say angrily. I go into the guest room and slam the door. I get into the bed and I clutch onto the penguin before I start to sob, again.

Whenever I was sad my father would always come behind me and hold me until I fell asleep. He wouldn't say anything, he would just hold me as I cried.

And then the following morning we'd talk about it. I always felt so much better afterward.