Behind Closed Doors

15 - get out.

Hazel's POV:

-1 week later-

Kat is paralyzed from the waist down. There's an 80 percent chance of her regaining full movement, but right now she refuses to go to physical therapy.

"Come on, Kat. You have to get up," I say, squatting down in front of her on the couch.

"No! I don't want to!" She says, not taking her eyes off of the TV. She's watching a National Geographic documentary.

"Kat, baby-" Talia, Lizzie, Lyss, and Zoey come in from shopping. I look at them, then back at Kat.

"You need to. Your muscles need to remember what to do! The longer you wait the longer-"

"Muscle memory exists! They'll remember when I want them to! I don't wanna go! Go away Hazel!"

"Kat please," I say.

"No!!"

"This wouldn't have happened if you just looked where you were fucking going," my mom says.
"Let the girl become paralyzed. Shit if she doesn't wanna try don't make her. She won't do shit in life anyway." I take out Kat's hearing aids.

I stand up and look at her.

"Alright you picked the right fucking day with me. What the fuck is your problem? What the hell is it that you want? You come in here, you slap me, and then you say you regret it, and then you come and do this bullshit again."

"Yeah, you know how to hit a fucking nerve."

"I hit a nerve. By doing what exactly?"

"All this little stupid shit to try and show you care. Like trying to make Kat go to physical therapy. We all know you're just doing that shit for attention. Stop it." I furrow my eyebrows.

"What?" I say.
"Why would I be doing this for attention?!"

"Because you want to make it clear to everyone you're a better mother than me!"

"Who the hell is there to impress?! My roommates?! They don't care! My girlfriend?! She doesn't care either! Elizabeth?! Guess what! She doesn't either!"

"And honestly, if you would rather her become paralyzed then fight with her, I think maybe it is clear that I am a better mother than you."

"Thanks for saying the truth! Cause I'm just so terrible aren't I?!"

"Yes," I say. She looks at me.
"Didn't expect me to say that, huh?"

"Tell me what you want from me! Cause you haven't fucking left and it's been 3 weeks! What did you go bankrupt again?! Is that what happened?! And let me guess you're relying on me! Again!"

"You owe me anyway! I kept a roof over your head and food on the table for years!"

"You did?! No! No that was dad! And when he died it was me! Because you drank too much to keep a job! So it was on me! A child!"

"Here you fucking go with the child bullshit again!"

"How is it bullshit?! How?!" My voice breaks.

"You use that in every fucking argument! I don't care, Hazel! When I was your age life was a lot harder! You went through nothing!"

"I lost the one person who meant the most to me! And that's nothing to you?!"

"Get over it! For gods sake all you do is whine about him! I don't care about that either! He's not coming back! I don't care about your gifts or your paintings or any of the shit you send me! I don't care!"

"And I don't care that he died in your arms! I don't care that he's dead! Shit I'm glad he's dead!"

I stare at her.

I hate my mother.

"You stepping up is exactly what you should've done! It makes up for the fact that you've done nothing but make me miserable! I didn't want you! It was your father who convinced me not to! And I wish I didn't listen!"

"Yeah and then you'd be dead because he would've left you. With nothing. Because let's be honest, I was a better mother than you from the fucking start."

"I kept trying to find ways to forgive you. Oh, she's grieving dad's cancer that's why she's not working. Or that's why she's drinking. Or out all the time. Being at home makes me sad too sometimes."

"Or the fact that you weren't in the room when he died. I thought you were just too sad. Too sad to care for us. Too sad to find a job. Again. I understand that. I'm sad too."

"It wasn't until the line where you said you were glad he was dead.. where I knew that I was done making excuses for you. It's now clear to me that you wanted us dead. You wanted us to starve to death."

"No, not us. You."

"No no. It's us. It's me and Kat. Cause you didn't give shit to her either. You didn't raise her. I did! She called me mama!" I laugh.
"How sweet is that!"

"Dad was too good of a person for you. I'm surprised he stayed with you. Even after you gave birth to a child that wasn't his." She looks at me. That's her weakness.

"What like I didn't know? Don't be so fucking stupid. Get out. I never want to see you again. Don't worry about Kat, she doesn't like you either cause you fucked her up too."

"She's my child!"

"No she's not. She may be by blood, but she's not yours. And she never was. Get out of my apartment. Or I will call the cops." We hold the eye contact.

"You're really fucking useless after all." She walks out.

"Penguins. The Arctic bound bird-" I throw my phone at the Tv. It falls.

"I'll go," Kat says. I look at her. Tears brim my eyes. I start to hyperventilate.

"I'll go to physical therapy," she says.
"Okay?" I breathe harder. And then I feel a stabbing pain in my stomach. I collapse to the floor and cry out in pain.

"Hazel-" Natalia says.
"Hazel. Hazel what's wrong?"

"I don't know! Oh my god it hurts! Oh my god!" I scream in pain.

"Holy shit- oh my god okay I'm calling 911!" Zoey says.

"What's wrong with her?!" Kat cries.

"We don't know, sweetie. Come on it's gonna be okay. She's gonna be just fine," Lyss says, trying to pick her up.

"No!! No I don't want her to die!!" She screams.

"She's not gonna die! She's not gonna die sweetheart!"

"Put me down!!" She screams.
"No Hazel don't die! I don't want you to die!!" Alyssa puts her next to me. She puts her hands on my face.

"Don't die Hazy. Please," she whispers. I open my eyes and look her. Her lip quivers.

"No Hazel don't try and sit up you're bleeding sweetheart," Natalia says voice cracking. I pull Kat into my arms.

"I don't want you to die," she whispers.

"Can one of you give me her fucking hearing aids please?" I whisper. Lizzie puts them in her ears. Kat looks at me.

"I'm not gonna die, Kat," I whisper.
"This isn't like daddy. You were too young to remember but this isn't like him. It's not."

A/N - what the fuck just happened?

I just went on autopilot.. um.. it's 4:35 in the morning! Yay!

I love you all lots.❤️