Jeith/Jaith oneshots and Short Stories

The Sex Life of James Griffin

Lance

Lance walked up to James. "Okay, before you say no, can you please, please, please, please just listen to me?" James sighed and put down the tablet, crossing his arms and facing the other. "I'm listening." "Look, I'm really, really, really sorry for breaking up with you. Can't we get back together?" Lance asked, giving him puppy dog eyes.

"No." James said instantaneously.

"Why?" James pulled out his phone and began scrolling. "What are you-" Lance started, but James held up a finger to silence him. "Where is it? Hmmm, ah, here it is." He showed Lance his phone screen.

He scrolled down, showing him just how long the message was. "One, because that was uncalled for." He says, motioning towards the long text on the screen.

"Two, it was five, six years ago and I have no romantic feelings for you anymore. And three, because I was planning in breaking up with you but you did it for me." Lance's eyes widened. "Wait, really?"

James nodded, putting his phone away. "Yeah. Also, I'm 90% sure a certain someone likes you." "Wait, really?" James nodded, picking up his tablet. "Well who is it?" Lance asked. James hummed noncommittally. "You're not going to tell me?" Lance asked. He shook his head. "James, come on. Tell me!" Lance whined. He shook his head, refocusing on his ship.

He heard Lance huff and walk away, mumbling something about him being an idiot.

Matt

The Holt four came onto the bridge, and Matt flushed when he saw James. "Hey Katie. Sam, Colleen, Matt." James greeted. "Uh hu-hi James." Matt stuttered.

Pidge looked back and forth between the two. "Lemme guess, another ex?" James shrugged nonchalantly. "Fuck buddy is more accurate. Nothing serious." "Mhmm, sure." Sam said, eyeing his increasingly red son. "Anything else I should know? I've heard quite a number of things pertaining to your, uh, romantic exploits."

James picked his head up and thought for a moment. "Um, well, there was Lance, then Matt, hooked up with Alex and Mark, at different times, once or twice. Hooked up with Matt once after the war, oh and I'm currently dating someone."

Matt gaped at him while the rest of the Holts laughed. "You're really getting around, aren't you Lieutenant?" Colleen jokes. "What can I say? I'm irresistible. Plus, knowing how to flirt helps a lot."
"You don't do pick up lines like Lance, do you?" Pidge asked with a grimace. "Oh god no. Those hardly ever work. No, but there's a way to do it. Compliment eyes, smile, personality, or if it's someone you know and have experience with, talk about past things you guys did and point out good things they did." Pidge nodded, pretending to write it down. "Mhmm, mhmm, anything else?" James chuckled.

"Never, ever, under any circumstances, offer to show them something. Car, truck, a cool dance move, nothing. That's a big warning sign for creeps." "That could prove useful." Colleen says. "Oh, and try and find a partner who's not going to outlive you by several hundred years." He directed this part at Matt.

"Hey!" "Just being honest." James says, smiling a bit.

Ryan
"Griffin, you ever hooked up with Kinkade?" Pidge asked at dinner. The two shrugged. "Once. We were drunk, and people had been going on and on about how we'd make a good couple." James answered. "But don't tell Alexis. MFE or not, she'll kill me." James whispered.

"I'd kill you, MFE or not." Nadia assures. "Jokes on you, kill me and you become the new leader of the team." He says, sipping his water. "She what?" Hunk asked.

"During the war, we had to make wills and stuff. In mine, I leave each of them some stuff and instructions, and I have letters for both them and the paladins, plus Ronny and Shiro. Part of it is also in any event in which I am considered or confirmed dead, Nadia takes my place and Ronny becomes an MFE."
"Cool." Nadia says with a grin.

Keith
"James, what's the best lay you've ever gotten?" Lance asks as they sip their beers. "Oh, that's easy." James swallowed. "Keith."

Lance spit his drink out and Hunk choked on his, the girls started laughing, and Shiro and Ryan gaped at them. "What?" James asked. "You two fucked?" Ryan says.

Keith laughed and threw an arm around James's shoulders. "We be fucking."

"Why?" Lance asked, wiping his mouth. "Uh, one. Keith's hot. Two, I like him and he likes me, three, he's a really good lay." James answers.

"Who tops and who bottoms?" Nadia asks. James smirks at her. "Nadia! Not in front of the child!" He scolds playfully. "Yeah, Shiro's only six, he shouldn't be hearing this." Keith says. "Hey!" His brother whined.

James chuckled and sipped his drink. "Let's just say I'm plenty sore when we're done."
"JAMES!" Shiro shrieks as the others laugh. "One peaceful dinner. That's all I wanted. Why can't you guys just be polite for once? UNGHH!"

"You know, when I blow him, he sounds a little like that. Tastes pretty good too."

"Wa-JAMES! YOU CAN'T JUST SAY THAT