The Disbanders

Chapter 3: The Trip

As planned, Jessica's car arrives at my driveway. I speed walk towards her car and get in the front seat, eager to get as far away from my house as possible.

"Thanks for coming to get me," I tell her.

"Of course, honey. It's the least I can do." She looks at me again. "Oh, your face. And what's in your hair?" I realize that I still have some crumbs in my hair.

"Jill's chip bag," I tell her.

"Well don't worry, you're here with me now. We're going to your favourite place, aren't we?", she asks, smiling at me. I give her a small smile back.

Jessica's joyful nature is one of the things that both I love and hate about her the most. While her energy makes me happy, and she's done so much for me, I also wish that she'd be a real person at times. She can easily pretend like things aren't a big deal. However, she's the best person that I've got in my life right now. It's not like she hasn't made a difference for me.

Jessica has brought me to the hospital hundreds of times throughout my childhood, as an escape from my house and parents for a few hours at a time. While those visits couldn't happen often as I'd hope for, due to her busy schedule, I'd appreciate every one. She's been my inspiration for wanting to become a surgeon. The hospital has become a sanctuary for me, allowing me to focus on a brighter future.

While I have many days where I'd wish to hide from the world forever, the one thing that keeps me grounded is the idea of one day becoming a surgeon, doing what I've spent years memorizing, as well as learning and fantasizing about.

We reach the hospital within ten minutes. I hop out of the car, taking in the fresh air. While it may be a place of death, pain and suffering, my life has shaped my mind into only seeing it as a place of life, joy and potential. It's been a while since I've been here, and it feels good to be back. Ironically, my favourite and least favourite places are both filled with drugs.

Jessica leads me to her office, carrying several binders to her chest. Several nurses and surgeons say hello to her as she walks down the halls. As we enter her office, I sit in the armchair, specifically put in for me, and pull out her snack drawer. That was also put in for me, stocked with my favourite things. I pull out a bag of red licorice from it and tear it open, biting into its sweet, stringy ribbon.

I notice as Jessica glances an eye at me, smiling amongst herself.

"What is it?", I ask her curiously.

"Oh, it's...seeing you here again. It makes me so happy. I find you're more at peace when you're here," she beams. I reflect on that, smacking on my candy loudly.

"I suppose," I reply neutrally. Jessica continues to watch me, but I notice her smile beginning to fade into a more sombre look.

"So," she begins, "what happened this time?" I swallow my licorice, sitting up in the chair.

"Nothing, just....the same as usual. An argument starting over the dumbest thing, usually when they're out of it. Today's was about grocery shopping." I watch Jessica's expression change, as I feel her eyes move to look at my battered left cheek. She reaches out a hand, causing me to gently move away. I don't need her worrying more than she needs to.

"I'll get you some ice, and then give you some of that numbing cream you like." She gets up, almost enthusiastically, to grab me ice from across the hall from a nearby freezer. As I watch her confident stride, it brings me sadness. It truly confuses me how Jessica has such joy, despite everything she's been through with Jill.

My mother and Jessica were tight when they were little, being close and age. My maternal grandparents were also sophisticated people, from what I've heard, and raised their daughters well. They grew apart in their teenage years, when Jessica was driven by medical ambition, while Jill was pulled into the wrong crowd. I wonder how much it truly affects Jessica to see how her sister has been while raising a child.