The Disbanders

Chapter 22: The Breaking Point

March 2019

    The past week has been more of the same––snow melting, warm days, fighting, then silence. It's definitely affecting Evie more than anyone, and I'm the one she rants to about it, which makes it seem like the conflict truly never stops. It's all in the name of protection and safety, to keep ourselves hidden from the outside world.

    Funny enough, I remember months ago when we would joke at how this is a rebellion from the world, and give society the middle finger. Now, it's no longer a rebellion––it's cowardice. We aren't here simply because we hate the outside world––we're afraid of it. However, I catch myself, now more often than not, having a different thought process than the collective group. For instance, I don't know if I'm part of that "we" statement anymore, the one that fears the outside world as much as the others.

    Tonight we're having another bonfire. For once, we haven't needed blankets outside. It's reminding me of simpler times, of happier days. Nobody is saying much––as usual. However, I'm looking at Chuck, who seems to have something on his mind.

    "Jeez," he begins quietly, "it's been quiet around here for a while."

    "Well, what's there to say?", asks Alexa, "If there's nothing to say, then why would we talk? We know where we'd end up." Her tone sounds very impatient. I notice Will pursing his lips.

    "Alexa's not wrong, you know," says Will. "I guess, though, it would just be nice for a change if we did a litte bit without fighting."

    "That's not going to be easy," says Hayden. At that, Will stands up.

    "Okay, that's it," he snaps. Everyone faces him. "Look, I'm not changing my mind on anything we've been arguing about over the past week, but I want to say.....it doesn't mean that I don't care about all of you. We're family out here, and I want us to stay together. I hate that we're fighting. Even if we're not all on the same sides of this, I think we can all agree that it sucks that we're in this situation." For a moment, nobody says anything. However, they all have pensive looks on their faces.

    "I agree," I say. "Regardless of how we feel about it, I think we all hate fighting."

    "We haven't ever been torn apart like this, and we've been through way worse, especially in the last several months," says Chuck.

    "I know," says Alexa. "I feel bad. I know I can make comments that don't help."

    "I do too, don't feel bad," says Hayden. "I think we can all say, to each other, that no matter what, we'll all still be here for each other? We'll all still be friends?"

    "Yes, Hayden," says Will. "Always. Nothing could change that. No one left behind, right?" More people smile at that, which makes me happy.

    "Exactly," says Evie. As we all mutually agree, Evie leans in and whispers to me: "I wonder how long this is going to last," she mutters. I don't answer her. That question could truly have multiple meanings. Either way, I suppose we'll find out soon enough.

|||

    Sure enough, the peace in our group didn't last long. As it's now morning, we're fighting again. The worst part about these arguments, is they don't take very long to start up. I keep zoning in and out of this one.

    "It makes absolutely no sense as to why we'd leave our perfectly safe house to head of into the unknown! I could go to jail, in case you didn't realize!", snaps Hayden.

    "There are ways around it! You avoided it the first time. The world also thinks we're all dead. It would be a fresh start!", exclaims Chuck.

    "Besides, it doesn't mean we have to separate or anything. We also don't have to live in fear anymore of being discovered when we're already going to be out in the open!", adds Evie.