The Disbanders

Chapter 9: One of Us

In the past week or so, I've been building up the courage to make my first hunt for the group. While it seems extreme, I know it's the best way to prepare me for living out here, no matter how much I may prefer it to the outside world. It's been keeping me awake at night.

It's not to say that I haven't tried, either. There have been a few mornings where I was awake early, even before Will. I'd grab a bow and arrows before heading off into a bush, in an attempt to see something. One morning, I did see a deer, and like many stereotypical hunters in my situation, I was too scared to fire.

As I lay pondering it all on the couch this afternoon, I realize that enough is enough. The fact that I'm dwelling on this so much, is putting me through the emotional ordeal of it twice. I get up suddenly and walk out the door.

I pass everyone as I walk to a small tree and collect the bow hanging from it, along with some arrows.

"What are you doing?", asks Hayden. I stop in my tracks, turning back to face him.

"I've waited long enough. I want to be a member here, so I'm going to hunt," I reply confidently. Before he can respond, I turn back in my original direction and start walking.

As I pass the spot where Will shot the wolf, it sends a shiver up my spine. Stay focused, I tell myself. I press on and keep walking, not looking back. I find a quiet spot after several minutes. Crouching down, the dry ground beneath me crunches with its crisp layer of dry leaves and twigs. I wait patiently, which doesn't help my racing mind. As soon as my arrow leaves my fingers and punctures an animal, I'll be one of them, officially.

I then hear a faint rustling sound. I remain as still as I can, while frantically trying to search for where it's coming from. A rabbit is now about ten metres away from me. It looks rather large. I draw back my arrow quietly, before closing my eyes and taking a deep breath. Do I want this? I know I've been happy here, but is this the life I want for the foreseeable future?

As I ponder this question, my mind plays back my memories. I feel the pain of Jessica's abandonment, followed by the pain of my father's ring. I smell the aroma of marijuana under my nose, and feel the crumbs of chips in my hair. Finally, I remember the peace and freedom I've felt here. That feeling has been irreplaceable. It's worth the life of this rabbit.

I let the anger of my past boil hotter inside me, like Hayden had taught me. Whether I agree with it or not, I need something that will help my accuracy at this moment. It's working. Opening my eyes again, I release the arrow.

I get up slowly, before tranquilly walking over to find where the arrow went. Sure enough, it went straight through the bunny, leaving a bloody hole in its torso. It's dead. I did what they asked me to do.

"I'm sorry," I mutter, as I gently pick up its soft body. It's heavier than expected. Taking careful slow steps, I walk back, carrying the dead rabbit with me.

I make my way back to where everyone else is, aiming for the campfire. I place the bunny down gently, treating it with care. I then pluck the red-coated arrow from the body, as it releases a gutsy sound that makes me want to puke. I take a moment to settle my stomach, before standing up, holding my head up high. That's when I notice everyone standing there.

"Well, I did it," I say timidly. "I guess we should cook it up, eh?"

"Wow, you really killed it," says Will, eyeing the rabbit in amazement.

"Jeez, you got it right through the middle!", exclaims Chuck.

"I'll prepare it. We can have it tonight," says Evie.