The Disbanders

Chapter 29: The Journey

Walking back through these woods has been surreal, especially knowing the fact that this life, that it feels like I've lived for centuries, is now behind me. Now that I've said goodbye, I can tell that one of the hardest parts of this journey is behind me. However, going back to my parents' house––if I can even find my way there, won't be a picnic either.

The only thing that is certain for me right now is the first step of this journey––making it out of these woods.

I pass by the spot where I once laid with Chuck, in the final moments of his life. A tingle rushes through my spine as I walk by it. Another push in the right direction.

Even after everything, I still can't help but wonder if I'm making the wrong decision––what if I don't find my grandmother? What if she's no longer alive? How will I even get there? There are many uncertainties, but they are easier to live with than knowing I will eventually die in these woods.

Checking my watch, I see that it's nine in the morning. I've been awake for about a full day now, leaving me feeling more tired with every step. Focus on the journey. You'll make it out of here.

I finally see the road up ahead, approaching the spot where we once found Alexa after she walked out here in her sleep. I'm finding that many memories are flashing before me, of the life I'm leaving behind. Ignore it. Your brain is playing tricks on you, I tell myself.

"Wow, this is really it," I mutter to myself. "The world's right there." Slowly, I progress through the final downhill of the woods, eventually stepping out onto the shoulder of the road.

I almost feel naked––exposed out here. I am, for once, no longer surrounded by forest, and can no longer hear the immediate rushing of water, nor the birds chirping in the trees above.I really am out in the world. I've broken off from my group of societal disbanders, back to the place that was sworn to be the enemy. It turns out, that I'm the true disbander, from them.

There's a store across the road––one I saw the last time I stood here, making the simple choice to enter these woods, changing the entire course of my life. I wonder if I could try and steal from it. I need something––food, water, anything. Then again, I'd have to see other people, something I still need to mentally prepare for. Not to mention––I have no money.

Looking to my left, I get a better recall of where I first came from, almost a year ago. I'll go in the opposite direction, especially if I need to get back to my parents' house.

    As I progress down the road for the next little while, I begin to think about what it'll be like being back in my old town, even stepping into my own house again. I truly never thought I'd be back there, and for a moment, I really imagined myself living out in the woods forever.

I then take a look at my hands. They're dirty, with filth trapped beneath my breaking fingernails. I perish the thought of how I could've ever saved someone's life with hands as dirty as these. Jessica would've certainly been shocked at the things I've done out here. Then again, I won't see her ever again, and would hope not to.

It's been about an hour on this new journey of mine, since stepping out of the trees for the first time in almost a year. I haven't looked back, but I'm not sure where to go, either. Eventually, I'll have to talk to someone, make human contact. I then shake my head at how ridiculous this sounds.

I stick out my hand, declaring myself a hitchhiker to the passing cars. As some cars seem to slow down, I grow nauseous thinking about getting into one. Press on. Keep your hand out. You need a ride––anywhere.

Finally, a red car starts to slow down, coming from the same direction as me. I don't look back and keep walking, trying to avoid the nerves rushing in. As I hear its tires stop gently against the pavement, I remain still. The driver honks their horn after a moment.