Falling Again (For You)

Chapter 5

The small apartment they all lived in was a mess. Bed sheets were crumpled and stuffed in the corner, pillows were half hanging out of their cases. No one knows when this started being home for them, but there was a point when they didn't know how to fit the key in the handle just right to unlock it. There was a point when Pete and Patrick would huddle a little closer together when they heard weird noises.

They were saying goodbye, at least for two months. Joe was good friends with the owner of this place, so they wouldn't have to worry about pay when they're gone.

"I know there's a reason we keep you around.", Pete says to Joe as their packing up the last of their things.

They were leaving for the airport tomorrow morning at six, playing their first show on an actual tour tomorrow night at six.

"Yeah, it's not like I'm your guitarist, or whatever."

Pete shrugs, "We have Patrick."

Andy chuckles, setting an arm around Joe's shoulder. It's maybe a little too intimate for it to just be a friendly gesture. Nothing between them is just a 'friendly gesture' anymore, but two other boys don't comment.

*

Patrick anxiously taps his finger against his knee. It becomes quicker and quicker until Pete sets his hand over his. Their fingers intertwine, and Patrick finally takes a deep breath. He recalls he's only ever been down this road once. He was drunk and tired, and wasn't thinking straight. He is now, and everything has changed since then. It's been...two years...three? Who even knows anymore. And now that he thinks about, he's probably only seen them a handful of times during those years.

When the four of them decided to rent an apartment together, to finally get a place of their own, it was all for different reasons. Pete did it to get away from his past, Patrick did it to not feel so alone all the time, Joe did it because he's never really had a place to call his own, and Andy did it because he wanted to be with family. Patrick complains about the small place sometimes, they all do, but he doesn't think he'd rather live anywhere else. He definitely knows he wouldn't rather live at the other house, the one his parents left behind, the one that's been so empty ever since. He thinks he'd rather be anywhere but there.

"Trick, everything will be fine.", Pete whispers in his ear.

"But... I haven't talked to them in so long. What if...what if they don't..."

Patrick's voice dies out, partly from nerves, partly from him not actually knowing how to finish the sentence. He doesn't really know what he's afraid of. Rejection? It's not like he hasn't been rejected by them for the past two, three years. What is he afraid of?

"We're not doing this for approval, we're doing this for closure. It doesn't matter what they do.", Pete tells him, squeezing his hand.

Right, they were doing this for closure. Patrick wanted to kind of...rub it in their faces. Drop by to say hi to show whose the bigger man, and to show them how well he's off, it's all kind of a big middle finger in their face.

Patrick breathes in, and he thinks he'll be fine.