Falling Again (For You)

Chapter 7

Pete texts Andy and Joe before him and Patrick get back. He didn't tell them exactly what happened, he will later, but he did the best he could with the little keypad he had on his phone.

"Just relax, Patrick. I don't want you being all tensed and stressed before the tour, god knows you'll definitely be when we sleep in that cramped van."

Patrick manages a smile, a small one, but it's there.

Before they even get into the apartment, they can hear the shitty walls shaking slightly from the bass that no doubtfully was from their own room, and it was one of Patrick's favorites. He could distinctly hear the hum of the bass from Ground Control. Patrick smiles to himself a little. David Bowie is seriously a genius.

Pete unlocks the door, letting both of them in, but he accidentally bumps into Patrick's back when he tries to walk forward. Curious as to why the shorter man stopped, he looked up, and what he saw definitely satisfied his curiosity.

Andy's arms were on Joe's waist while his were around Andy's back. They were kissing, obviously, but broke apart as soon as they saw the other two guys.

Andy blushes.

"H-Hey guys.", he mutters out, waving at them.

Patrick has a grin on his face, a one that kinda says, 'I fucking knew it'. Well really, they all did, except for Andy and Joe, but it seems like they're slowly catching on too.

Joe is awkwardly rubbing the back of his neck, looking anywhere but at them.

"Anyways," Pete says, and Patrick can here the smile in his voice without even having to look at him, "did you guys pack up the last of the things?"

Joe nods, still not exactly looking at them. He kinda has his eyes trained on the picture behind Pete, slightly above his head.

"Great. I'm fucking tired."

Pete jumps onto the mattress that's pushed against the wall. There's only two rooms in here, and they don't really have set bedrooms, but Joe usually sleeps out here, Pete and Patrick share, and Andy has one by himself. Although, now that Pete recalls it, this mattress has been empty for a while now.

"We should probably get a lot of rest before tomorrow.", Patrick says, sitting down next to Pete, leaning his back against the wall. His legs automatically find there way between Pete's.

"Like any of us are actually going to get any sleep tonight.", Joe says, plopping down on the couch across the mattress.

Andy sits down next to him, but maybe a little farther than he would have this morning.

"Well, whoever is the most rested is driving.", Patrick says.

"Looks like none of us are going to sleep then.", Pete says.

Patrick rolls his eyes, punching Pete on the arm. He fake winces, making Patrick crack another small smile.

"So are you guys going to tell us what happened?", Joe asks finally.

"Joe!", Andy says, glaring at him.

Patrick sighs, "No, it's fine. I just went to go see my parents. Let's just say they didn't really want to see me."

Pete strokes Patrick's legs, calming the boy a little.

"Well, who cares about them? We ordered pizza, and we rented Ghost Busters."

Patrick smiles, "Thanks guys."

*

Patrick kicks at the empty beer can on the floor. He was leaning against the wall of their apartment outside. He only had a thin jacket around him, but it wasn't that cold anyways, he thinks, stuffing his hands into his pockets.

Yeah, he appreciated what the guys were doing, but he couldn't but hate it all, too. He understands that they just wanted to cheer him up, make him feel better. They keep saying things like ,'Well who needs them?', and 'Well we love you.' These were great and all, but they don't understand that, that doesn't make him feel better, it doesn't change anything. His parents are his parents, they're suppose to love him, but they don't, and that's what hurts him so much. He could have all the fucking love in the world, but he'll always feel a little empty without the love from them.

"God, I'm so selfish.", he mutters to himself, kicking the can a little too hard. It skids onto the street.

He sighs.

"Patrick?", someone says, making him jump.

"Jesus Christ, Pete!"

The other man chuckles a little, walking down the steps to get closer to him.

"Sorry. What are you doing out here?"

"I'm just thinking."

"Is it about your parents?"

Patrick nods, but before Pete can begin to speak again, he cuts him off.

"I know, Pete. You're going to tell me that it doesn't matter. That you guys love me, and shit like that. I know, but I can't hep but be upset over this. You should understand, Pete."

"What do you mean?"

They never really talk about him, Pete's dad. Just thinking about him makes him want to throw up and he knows that Pete doesn't like thinking about him either.

"Well...Your dad's done pretty fucked up things, but don't you still question why he...hit you, why he did the things he did? He didn't treat you the way a parent should treat his kid. Doesn't that kill you?"

Pete looks up at the black sky, thinking about the question.

"Well of course I think about why he didn't love me. I always use to think 'Wow, I must really be a piece of shit if my own dad can't even love me'. But they're just people, Patrick. You don't love every person you meet, do you?"

"But they're not just people, they're my parents.", Patrick says, the tone of desperation dripping out of each word.

"And they lost that title when the kicked you out. You don't have to love them, just like they don't have to love you. I know it sounds shitty, but that's just life sometimes. You should know that better than anyone else."

Patrick stays still for a few seconds before he breaks down, clutching onto Pete. He stains his shirt with tears, but he doesn't care and neither does Pete.

"Why is life so fucking unfair?"

"If I knew, I would tell you."

They stand there for ten-twenty minutes, who knows, but finally Patrick calms down. Pete's rubbing his back, wanting to make the world better for him and feeling terrible that he can't.

Patrick kinda wishes he smoked, or at least had a cigarette, because this seemed like the perfect place and time for one. But smoking is bad, especially for a singer, he thinks to himself.

Anything to keep his mind distracted.

"I'll be fine.", Patrick says.

"I know you will."

And he smiles, shifting a little closer towards Pete.