Falling Again (For You)

Chapter 14

It's a mediocre show at best, compared to the other ones they've played. But Joe just can't seem to get his head into the music, and he forgets several measures. Patrick struggles playing both guitar parts by himself because he isn't sure what Joe can and can't play, his singing is off in result, and the entire band just clashes with each other.

It really isn't that bad from the audiences point of view, it never is, but it's bad by their standards. When they shuffle off of the stage with their head down low, Joe breaks down and apologizes for messing the band up.

"We all have moments, not every show is going to be perfect. And you haven't been getting much rest, we really don't blame you, Joe.", Patrick tries to explain.

"We're not mad at you at all.", Andy follows, kissing the boy on his forehead.

No one else says anymore, letting Andy comfort him. He runs his hand through his hair and eventually Joe falls asleep in his lap. They all watched as he swallowed his pills this morning, and they can see that it's already working to soothe the boy.

Patrick and Pete clean up by themselves, taking their time because they don't have to be anywhere tomorrow morning. Joe and Patrick have a flight back to Chicago in the afternoon, but it's not until nine. They all decided that both Joe and Patrick needed the trip the most, and Patrick has always been the confident for the other boy when it came to his nightmares. He doesn't know why Joe has always chosen him over Andy when it came to this, but Andy understands so he doesn't question it.

"Pete?"

Patrick grabs the boys wrist before they walk back inside to call the others.

"Yeah?"

"I'm not okay. I haven't eaten for the last couple days, I can't sleep, and I feel like I'm constantly on the tip of something I can't break." , he rushes out.

Pete stares at him in astonishment, he didn't need Patrick to say anything for him to see that clearly he wasn't holding it together as well as he made it seem, but he didn't expect him to say it so bluntly, he didn't expect him to say anything at all. He's left aghast for a moment before composing and reminding himself where he is and the topic of conversation.

"P-Patrick, I- Fuck, you haven't been eating?"

He knows, he knows Patrick hasn't been eating because he can see it as hallow cheeks,  as clothes that fit too loose on his body even though they were only bought a month ago. He can feel it when he holds him close, his hip bones poking his as Patrick falls asleep against his shoulder, the only time he gets any sleep at all.

Patrick looks away as if ashamed, and Pete doesn't have the strength to tell him that he shouldn't be, that it's not his fault.