THE PAST, THE PRESENT, & THE FUTURE, txt ✓

BONUS: the letter to nari.

to kim nari, the only girl i have ever loved...

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Wow, I never expected you to reach out like this. But I'm glad you did, because although you say you're a coward, I'm an even bigger coward. I mean, come on. I was the one who walked out and never looked back, never came back. And don't argue, or it'll turn into another one of our long-winded debates.

Before I go on, let me tell you this: I will be here somehow. I know the high school reunion is coming up, and that you will be here. I will be here somehow, and I swear on it. It's time we resolved our problems.

Also, you think your letter is short? Mine is way shorter. Don't hold it against me, you know I suck at letter-writing. I do heartfelt song lyrics, not letters pouring my heart out. I wish I were better, but we can't all have what we want.

'My Taehyun,' huh? You're so cheesy, seriously. I mean, you make it sound like we're an old married couple or something. 'Maybe-too-blunt-and-realistic'? You know you love it when I arrive with my wonderful doses of reality.

But really, I didn't know you ever thought of me and I'm so happy that you did. I understand, you know. Our situation—namely, our age gap—just didn't allow for what we wanted, and I acted without thinking. I'm sorry I did.

Honestly, I think I liked you since we started talking. You know what my first thought was, when we got over the shock crashing to the floor?

She's so pretty.

It's embarrassing, but it is what it is. I don't care what you think, or what anyone else thinks, you were always the most beautiful in my eyes. You still are and always will be.

I know for a fact that the pretty teenager you were grew up to be an achingly beautiful woman. Why? Because I know you still go to the library. I do, too, but make sure to keep away from you. I'm a coward, too. I see you as many as three or four times a month still, but you haven't seen me in almost three years, have you?

I always sit by the window facing the corridor. The moment I saw you emerge from the elevator, I would dart away to hide in the back room, and that was where I stayed with any books I picked out until you left.

I can't say the librarian really approved of that. She did as I asked, but she actually said to me once, in the most conversational tone ever, "so, when are you going to stop being a chicken and face that girl you keep hiding from?"

I managed to keep my cool (which was promptly shattered by the color of my face) and said, "maybe one day."

She just shook her head and went back to organizing the shelves. I think I should be grateful she didn't flat-out scold me, but it was enough to make me feel even more like a complete idiot.

I've always liked you. I never said anything because at first you were dating your classmate, and then your best friend. I admit that you going out with your best friend weeks after you broke up with your boyfriend felt...strange, to say the least, but I didn't think I was in any place to say anything about it.

Truthfully, I always thought I was nothing but your kid friend. I mean, what self-respecting sixteen-year-old befriends a thirteen-year-old kid who barely speaks unless spoken to? You, apparently. I know I talked a lot after we bonded, but that's what I was like, and you didn't care at all. I know now that I was so much more than that to you.

I'm sorry I didn't notice how torn up you were about it. I'm sorry I didn't realize what you were going through at first. And you don't have to thank me for what I did. I did what any person would do, and I admit, partly for myself. Although I was genuinely worried for you, I couldn't bear the thought of losing you for good.

It sounds selfish. But I know I would have done the same thing even now, with the same thoughts in mind.

I saw the phone number you wrote on the back of your letter. I won't use it for now, but wait until we meet face to face. Then we can work things out. I'm going to keep my word on my promise, Nari noona. I promise to be there at your reunion no matter what it takes.

— kang taehyun, who still loves you with everything.

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WORD COUNT: 789

A/N: this was a letter i honestly didn't think i wanted to post, but looking back through my drafts...i think you guys deserve to read this. hope you enjoyed <3