My Whatever Book

Counselor

Jul 27, 2022

So yes a couple of days ago I was a counselor for hope camp, it was alright i certainly did not want to go but I made it in the end. Unfortunately now I am at my dad's I cannot wait to go home, my bumbee started a job 2 days ago, I can't wait till I get home and I can hear all about it. I cannot sleep for some reason I spent most of the night crying, couldn't get the scenarios out of my head, they just kept coming and so my eyes kept leaking. I am pretty thirsty but I don't wanna get up, im just so sick of being here, I just cant find anyway to enjoy my stay, I wish it wasn't like this. I don't want my life to ever be similar to there's, its to suffocating. The best part of camp was tunza I had a really good time w/ her and learned a bit about her culture (which is very interesting btw) I've gained weight recently, maybe its cuz my new meds, or maybe its just me I used to eat not full meals, but now I eat till I'm full. Perhaps thats the cause to this, I certainly hope not, it just seems like I'm getting bigger and bigger, I dint know what to do or how to do it, im a failure indeed, how am I supposed to have any confidence if I look like that? How am I supposed to go in the mirror and even tolerate seeing myself for a second, its so revolting. I just want to sleep at this point, but it feels like I'm never gonna be able to.