Today i got a phone call from my mother telling me the tragic news, it got me by total surprise, it had to be today of all days.
My (ex) step-dad killed himself- put a shot gun in his mouth and pressed the trigger in his recliner
My 15 year old brother's father died yesterday his boss found him at noon. (Aug 4, 2022)
A father he never got the chance to get close with- holding onto a dream of one day..
Apparently he got a DWI and was afraid of going to jail and so he decided to end his life- he was an alcoholic back and fourth he fought with his addiction, never truly winning but never truly losing aswell.
I got to see my little brother fidget with a stick desperately trying to hold in his tears because he didn't want his mommy to see him cry. Itd only make her cry more.
I got to hear long conversations about Nathan- it wasnt his first time trying to commit suicide.
I remember when my mom was married to him he got into a wreck and broke his neck all because he was trying to end himself.
Of course there were other times he tried but this time he succeeded to many peoples dissatisfaction.
He left 4 sons behind.
And 3 step kids. (I included)
A man that i spent alot of my childhood getting drunk and getting mad and taking it out on my mother.
A man who was smart and artistic and could do many many wonderful things.
A man who said he'd help me fix me house out of the love he held for me.
A man who made my kitten a grave stone- a man who'd make me and the boys animals by cutting stone.
A man who believed in runes.
A man who could sing and play guitar and would sing to us and mom on the porch
A man who is dead. Now.
My little brother lost his last family member outside of my mom and his siblings.
His eyes were so swollen and red, I don't believe he cried this much at Nina's funeral and she was everything to him.
A 15 year old boy who'll be 16 in December has lost his father who had many demons, I suppose now he can rest in peace.
He will never be able to see his daddy again.
A man who was my mothers best and only friend a man she was married to for several years, she loved him and she put up with untill she couldn't take it anymore- but nevertheless she loved him so much. As we all did in our own ways.
Out of all the months it had to be this one. ___________________________________
Someone posted a video of him singing- I forgot what he sounded like its been so long since I've heard him sing. ___________________________________
Nathan ol Nathan...
Ups! Tento obrázek porušuje naše pokyny k obsahu. Před publikováním ho, prosím, buď odstraň, nebo nahraď jiným.
You always wore such attire, the ole' cowboy hat and denim
I found the keychain he made for me, I put lots of things on it, its a bit filled imma have to fix it again later, but it's nice to have a piece of him.
I remember watching him put a hole through a coin in awe the boys were not as interested as I was and so they left but I continued to watch and thus he gave me the very best one.
And on the topic of reminiscing... I suppose I can retell some more memories.
